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Bend Elks Road Trip

Friday, July 21st to Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

Spokane Red Hawks at Bend Elks (July 21)
recap | boxscore | game log | photos

Spokane Red Hawks at Bend Elks Double Header (July 22)
recap | boxscore | game log | photos

BMTG Notes and observations...

BMTG Road Trips...
...Are journeys of self discovery.

Bend, Oregon, Spanish Greeting
"¡Bienvenidos Catorces!"

Cruise Control...
...Is for hippies and old people.

BMTG Junior Associates
All Junior Associates shall have "boy" included in their name. Upon reaching age 18, the "boy" will be dropped. For example, upon reaching the age of 18, Steamboy will be known as Steam.

Steamboy
When undercover as a Frenchboy, Steamboy is known as "Steamy Au Jus."

Colorado Road Trip
Shall be officially known as the Rocky Mountain Six Pack, or RM6.

Klamath Falls Valentines Day Indian Custom
Indian men covered their nude bodies in honey and rode through the Klamath Lake Green Bug Swamp. Their sqaws ate the sweet protein-rich bug-mix off of them for pleasure and nourishment.

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Evidence of Retardation

During the Northwest Road Trip of 2005, it was determined that approximately 42% of the population of Southern Oregon is retarded in some capacity. The Bend Elks Road Trip has not only confirmed this unusual statistic, but has also determined that the 42% extends into Central Oregon as well.

Just some of the classic Forty Two Percenter moments:

Directions received over the phone on how to get to Elmers in Klamath Falls. Once given a vague description of our location, the 42 percenter told us to, "follow the road you're on for about seven miles and turn right at the light." There were additional instructions, but they did not make any more sense than the initial instruction.
Powers Road exit in Bend, Oregon. For no apparent reason, you can't turn at the intersection, even though it would be quite easy to do. Instead you have to go past the intersection and take a loop that turns you around and makes you go through the intersection again.
General observations of people walking with blank and crooked looks on their faces.
Century Days Festival in Klamath Falls took place at the filthiest lake in the state.
The Century Days Festival in Klamath Falls was promoted as "The Time of Your Life" and was scheduled for Saturday and Sunday, yet they packed everything up before lunchtime on Sunday, cutting the time of their lives short by a good 6 to 8 hours for no apparent reason.
With only two outs left in the Friday night Bend Elks game, the BBQ menu was cut to half price.
The faucets in the bathroom at the Newberry National Volcanic Monument were backwards. They had to be turned the opposite way to activate.
In Downtown Bend, the waterfront was planned with the brilliant idea of putting the parking lot up against the scenic waterfront, instead of restaurants and bars. The bustling downtown scene was effectively cut off from the river at every possible point.
Fire danger was listed as extreme throughout the state, even when it was raining.
You are not allowed to pump your own gas.
STOP is not painted on the streets - there is only the stop sign.
Speed limits on all the highways are ridiculously low. It is even worse when the highway runs through a town of any size.
At the Wheel Cafe in Chemult, patrons are subjected to a 40-minute extended Michael McDonald / Doobie Brothers song.

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Quotes

"I wouldn't walk down any alley in any city."
Brother Nature
"¿How about Lollipop City?"
The Diesel

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Questions

Senior Discounts
The question was raised by The Diesel, "¿Why should the seniors get a break?"

1. Regarding senior discounts, the question was raised by The Diesel, "¿Why should the seniors get a break?"

Diesel	They're already collecting on their investments, they got low overhead, they don't need to go to Disneyland three times - they did that when they were 30. They are like a dying man running up debt for future generations - there's no accountability.
Brother Nature	They should be happy they can even walk.
White Russian	Their break is that they're still alive.

2. Will Barry Bonds do any prison time?

Diesel	Yes
Brother Nature	No
White Russian	No

3. Do you use cruise control?

Diesel	Rarely
Brother Nature	[dramatic] Anytime I can.
White Russian	Never.

4. What kind of jam do you prefer for toast?

Diesel	Orange Marmalade
Brother Nature	Black Berry
White Russian	Grape

5. What flavor snow cone do you prefer?

Diesel	Raspberry or Coconut
Brother Nature	Cherry
White Russian	Cherry
Mr. P	Bubblegum

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Brother Nature Meat Matrix Additions

Brother Nature would not eat the last brat at a Bend Elks home game, even if it was 90% off and all proceeds of the evening went to the Save the Cows fund.

Brother Nature would not get a buzz cut, even if The Diesel guaranteed that he would save a cow. BNature said, "That's a hard question. I want to say no, but I'd feel bad for the cow."

Brother Nature would not turn away Christie Brinkley, even if she had beef breath 24 hours a day.

Brother Nature would not eat a four stacker at Burger King, even if The Diesel would buy all of his food for a month (no beverages and no stocking up of food for future months.)

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