Friday, October 17, 2003
Hosted by: The DieSeL
Movies:
Black Mama, White Mama (1972)
The Alligator People (1959)
Deadly Eyes (1982)
Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)
XBOX:
Nascar Thunder 2003
Football
Quotes:
"You can almost imagine that guy on the end with no pants on."
The Diesel, a.k.a Suart Symphony
"C'mon baby, it'll do ya good."
Otis the Drunk look-alike Manon, played
by Lon Chaney, Jr., offering moonshine to a shaken Joyce Webster, played by
Beverly Garland, who had just tripped over a fake alligator in the pouring
rain and escaped to the safety of Manon's bayou hideaway.
Movie Reviews:
The Alligator People
Due to Congo taping only half of the movie, this movie was started during Festival 32 and completed during Festival 38 (8 days short of 1 year apart). The long delay did not dampen enthusiasm for the only movie ever to inspire a BMTG Festival question: What would you wear if you were a gator person? Diesel: authentic football jersey & comfortable shorts, Congo: trench coat, Rainman: terry cloth robe, and Archie: nothing. The fiancée of a rich bayou boy, believed to be dead, comes to Cajun country only to discover that her love is alive but has turned gator. While the gator man looks fairly dapper in his trench coat, his scaly face and funny looking hands make it difficult for him to mingle with the upper crust. Manon, the equivilant to a Crocodile Dundee of the swamp, makes a strong-armed advance on the fiancée after saving her from mouth-clamped alligators and rubber snakes. Fiancée has no interest in the drunken backwoods Romeo and thrashes about his love shack until saved by her gator man. The story ends in sorrow, as Manon destroys the laser that is the last ditch effort to return the gator-man to human form (at least the parts that would show outside of a turtleneck and khakis). The half-baked result is a Slee Stak type head, complete with bendable rubber nose that sends him rampaging blindly through the woods. Thinking safety last, he falls into a small, yet deep, puddle of quicksand. Despite the buoyancy of his huge rubber nose he sinks to the bottom and calls it a day.
Deadly Eyes
This film had very little to offer and was mainly scanned through. As promised, there were rats the size of dachshunds. Unfortunately, they also ran like dachshunds and appeared to be having fun much like dachshunds dressed as rats would be having. This movie did inspire a new song for the music group Tropical Peter. The song “Rat”, while not yet completed, will include the stirring lyrics "Sweet meat, young and tender/ Here comes your dad, gonna lose a finger.”
Black Mama, White Mama
In terms of California Governor votes, Cruz Bustamante’s role in this Afro-Oriental action movie proved to be much more damaging than Arnold’s quarter century of groping. In one pivotal scene, Cruz is loaded out of his taco, lying half naked on a beanbag, while he personally orchestrates a nipple electrocution. Even the most loyal of Bustamante supporters has to be troubled by this type of behavior and come to the realization that he is one bad burrito. The movie opens with a lengthy view through a multiracial female prison shower glory hole. This scene single handedly made this one of the Sexologists favorites (Also see Invasion of the Bee Women). Long standing rumors of Pam Grier’s unidentical breasts were validated when she came out of a port-a-potty without a shirt. Ms. Grier is indeed misshapen on one side yet she remained vigilant and exposed her boom booms as much as possible.
Invasion of the Bee Girls
If you are making sweet tender love, you hear a swarm of bees, and your woman’s eyes change into huge black olives, it s probably too late. A group of small town housewives liven up the party by converting other females into bee women, who in turn stare their unsuspecting lovers to death. Scoring high points for a prolonged bee lady hazing process, which involves group nudity, kissing, and chanting, this is one of the Sexologist's favorite films (Also see White Mama, Black Mama). The increase of sexually related male deaths forces the town elders to impose complete abstinence until the cause can be found. This decree results in predicable outrage from the sparse crowd, which is led by a pot-bellied loudmouth who laughingly implies that he can’t remain sexless for any length of time. A group of top-notch scientists, working out of an airport terminal, are unable to identify the cause of these deaths. However, thanks to the gang leader in Chrome and Hot Leather, who smoothly changes roles and plays a top government cop, the stingers are removed from these broads. After a wild conclusion of smoke, nudity, explosions, chanting, falling objects, screaming, and great bravery, we get our first glimpse of an actual bee. All the BMTG members then looked at each other and laughed at the funny little bee. Archie cried.
Additional Note: The movie’s “bee lady hazing process” is the only known scene to illicit a response from Rainman that only be described as a cross between Bill Cosby and Gil, the Public Access Man.
Questions:
1. If the court decides that Kobe Bryant will go to trial, should he be allowed to play in the NBA during said trial, and should the trial be delayed until the end of the season?
| Diesel | Yes, he should play. No, the trial should not be delayed. |
| Congo | No to both. He is a criminal. |
| Rainman | Yes, he should play. No, the trial should not be delayed. He is innocent until proven guilty. |
| Archie | Due to the seriousness of the charges, no to both. |
2. What is your porn name?
| Diesel | Stuart Symphony or Stuart Matador |
| Congo | Glenn Adonis |
| Rainman | Ray Donner |
| Archie | Robert Adonis (Bob Adonis, Bobby Adonis) |
Decisions Made:
Language Guide addition:
Foreskin - Should be spelled "Foskin" and should be pronounced with a Boston accent (the "fo" should sound like "faw".)
New Song:
"Rat" by Tropical Peter:
"Sweet meat, young and tender
Here comes your dad, gonna lose a finger"