return to events page

Festival #42

Friday, April 2, 2004
Hosted by: Ahchie

Movies:
The Diesel's Eye Surgery
Legacy of Blood (1978)
Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of the Moon
Super Bowl halftime disaster
Fight Club (1999)

Quotes:
"Dear Mother Nature: Drop Dead"
     Bridge graffiti on Legacy of Blood

"I don't wanna die without any scars."
     Tyler Durden, Fight Club

"Get your head out of the sand, Brother Nature."
     Rainman to Brother Nature

Special Appearance by Ken Griffey, Jr.

Ken Griffey, Jr. made a special appearance at the festival and was on hand for most of the festivities. Only one BMTG member, Rainman, took advantage of the once in a lifetime opportunity to have his picture taken with Mr. Griffey.

 

 

 

Movie Reviews:

The Diesel's Eye Surgery

This short movie could also be called The Passion of The Eye, for it shows powerfully unpleasant images and forces the viewer to take a personal look at their own life and beliefs. At what point do we simply accept who we are and celebrate our personal strengths? Are we really making decisions as to what weaknesses need to be improved or does society tell us? Elective eye surgery is the medical equivalent to having your kidney removed and cleaned. Sure it's all nice and sparkly, but it was working well before being spit shined. It would come to a shock to many that the Diesel actually saw 20/400 prior to surgery. While not of Steve Austin quality, he was able to see. A gunman attacking his family at 20 feet away would appear to be only a little more than a football field away. The surgery corrected his vision to 20/20 in each eye, but if your family gets attacked, it's money down the drain. Most viewers looked away and some even got physically ill but all left with a renewed appreciation for their own imperfections and lack of willingness to do anything about them. While Brother Nature and Ahchie felt uneasy watching the surgery, imagine the horror as the Diesel watched as his own cornea was sliced open, flipped up, and his eyeball laser burned. His gelatinous orbs were savagely poked and aggressively wiped by the Lasermaster until they were moist and crimson. The Lasermaster dreamily spoke to the Diesel as he went to work, "Doing great sport", "Hang in there buddy", "Way to go champ", appealing more to the Diesel's vanity than to his opium softened concerns. Elective eye surgery, such as this, is performed by money hungry butchers on uninformed consumers too frightened to disappoint society. This movie should be celebrated, not for it's grotesque images, but because it forces us to see to what lengths some people will go to be "normal".

Additional Review by Throcksmorton:
The surgery was a success. The Diesel can now see better than ever.

The Lasik surgery was very scary to watch. When The Diesel’s cornea was peeled back like a Filipino candy and the laser tagged it with fervor I think we all got a little concerned. It was troubling to see the Diesel with his eyeball fastened down like some kind of outtake from Hellraiser II, however; the bedside manner of the doctor calmed everybody down. His constant words of encouragement like…”Good job buddy” and “You’re doing great, Dog”, made us all feel better when the laser peppered The Diesel’s eyeball.

The Diesel, when all of this went down, was cooler than the other side of the pillow (thanks Stuart Scott). That was because they hooked The Diesel up with large amounts of the epic mind altering substance Ativan – which is believed to be a distant cousin of peyote.

Although the surgery was a success it was troubling to watch. Perhaps the most scary thing about the surgery was in the distance..if you listen real close…you can hear the 1979 classic song from Rupert Holmes, Escape – The Pina Colada Song.

Fight Club
Review by Ahchie, with contributions from The Diesel

If the BMTG were to make a movie, Fight Club would be it. The quality of this film far surpasses any others that are regularly viewed by the BMTG and despite it's high quality, it was required viewing for Festival #42 so that Brother Nature (formerly known as Congo) could be "indoctrinated" with the philosophies of Tyler Durden. While the members of the BMTG may not agree with everything Tyler says and does,* this is the film that has influenced the BMTG the most. Fight Club is a veritable quote machine and with every viewing new elements of the film that have been previously absorbed by the subconscious are noticed. It is a masterfully done character study that is even better the second time you watch it. Support group tourist Marla Singer is seen entirely differently the second time around as you watch the movie with a different perspective. While Marla still needs a good scrubbing, she warrants consideration.

This is not a film of violence for the sake of violence. This is also not a film that needs to be over analyzed. It is what it is without apology and it makes key points, among them that despite our perceived individualism, commercialism is king. It does not encourage people to abandon their beliefs and embrace total chaos, rather it shows some of the feelings that are dangerously lurking under the surface. It shows what happens when someone snaps and goes over the edge. While there are many benefits to Tyler's philosophy of just letting go and not letting society and its expectations rule your life, exposed are the downfalls of taking it too far and the hypocrisy of not taking it far enough. Leonard Maltin was unable to figure it out and it is his review of Fight Club (as well as another classic, American Psycho) that has convinced the BMTG that Mr. Maltin is very gay.

*disclaimer included for legal reasons

Legacy of Blood
Review by The Diesel

Like Steve Howe and Eric Roberts, the Legacy of Blood (LoB) starts with so much promise only to be a casualty of its own shortcomings. All of the elements were there; bad acting, bad story, strange deaths, and a 70's wardrobe. LoB is soiled by excessive dialogue and long periods of standing around waiting for nothing to happen. An impressive listing of the highlights include:

Despite those tempting highlights, do not be fooled into watching the LoB. The time span in between each measurable highlight may be brief, time wise, but physiologically they are unbearable. LoB is the equivalent to Astroturf in that while it may appear functional, it is actually soulless, full of uneven seams, and bad for the knees.

Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of the Moon
Review by Ahchie

The only way to get the BMTG to view the family classic Wizard of Oz is to tell them that it is synched up to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. While the band may deny any connection between the movie and the album, there are striking moments that cause any rational mind to question the band's claim. Each one taken by itself could be considered a coincidence, but taken as a whole, there are just too many well timed "synchronicities." The most notable are the fact that the length of the first side of the album is exactly the length of the black and white portion of the movie, and the end of the album plays a beating heart at the exact moment Dorothy is listening to the Tinman's chest. Equally striking is how the lyric "Black black" plays as the Wicked Witch is shown, followed immediately by "And blue blue blue" as Dorothy is shown in her blue dress. Then add in that the song "The Great Gig in the Sky" is perfectly timed to the tornado, and the song only calms down when Dorothy is knocked out. Just those four perfect "coincidences" are enough to convince a majority of BMTG members that what has happened can not possibly be pure coincidence.

There are many other moments in the film that seem to have a connection with what is playing on the album, although some of those can be considered a stretch in trying to force a connection. But taken together, they provide compelling supporting evidence that can not just be attributed to the futile grasping at anything by the hopelessly stoned masses.

Did the band smoke some grass, write some cool songs, smoke a little more grass, listen to their creation, smoke a lot more grass, then decide to match up the music to the classic movie? Perhaps they meant to do it right from the start? They are probably going to keep their mouths shut on this one, but the evidence speaks for itself. Only Johnny Cochran could overcome that mountain of evidence.

"Coincidences" to Consider:

  1. The lyric "And balanced on the biggest wave, You race towards an early grave" plays as Dorothy balances on the fence and falls into the pig-pen.
  2. Chimes and bells sound at the appearance of Miss Gulch.
  3. The lyric "Waiting for someone or something to show you the way" plays as Toto jumps through Dorothy's window and the decision is made to run away.
  4. Professor Marvel's sign, which includes the words "Past Present and Future" is seen during the music of "Time".
  5. When Professor Marvel is looking into the crystal ball and telling Dorothy about Auntie Em, the Breathe Reprise plays beginning with the lyric "Home, home again..."
  6. The song "The Great Gig in the Sky" begins as the tornado begins. The tempo of the music and vocals flow very well with the action of the tornado. When Dorothy gets knocked out, the song and vocals calm down to a sort of dreamy mood.
  7. Side one of the album (finishing with Great Gig in the Sky) is exactly as long as the black and white portion of the movie. As side two begins with "Money", the movie switches to color.
  8. The lyrics "Don't give me that do goody good bullshit" and "I think I need a lear jet" are played as the Good Witch arrives.
  9. There are a number of possible synchronicities during "Us and Them" while the munchkins are prancing around, but the most striking is when the lyric plays "Black, black" exactly at the time the Wicked Witch is shown, then proceeds to the lyric "And blue, blue, blue" at the exact moment Dorothy is shown (who happens to be wearing a blue dress). The lyric continues with "And who knows which is which and who is who" as Glinda explains that Dorothy dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. "Down and out out out" plays as the Good Witch leaves.
  10. The instrumental "Any Color You Like" plays as Dorothy is going down the yellow brick road.
  11. The song "Brain Dammage" plays as the scarecrow sings "If I Only Had a Brain".
  12. The lyric "I'll see you on the dark side of the moon" plays as Dorothy and the Scarecrow head off down the yellow brick road. The next song "Eclipse" begins as the scene changes.
  13. The final song, "Eclipse", ends with the sound of a beating heart as Dorothy and the Scarecrow are listening to the Tinman's chest.

Other "coincidences" not noted at the time of viewing:

  1. The album cover itself shows colorless light going through a prism and coming out in a rainbow of color, which goes well with the movie changing from black and white to color, as well as Dorothy's "Over the Rainbow."
  2. As Dorothy arrives at the farm you can see a triangle hanging from a tree. The triangle, along with the slats from the fence behind it, form an image reminiscent of the album cover.
  3. At the beginning as the lyric "Look around" plays, Dorothy turns away from Auntie Em and Uncle Henry, and when "Choose your own ground" plays, Dorothy walks away from them.
  4. When the lyric "And all that you touch and all you see" plays, Dorothy touches Hunk (Scarecrow). This is found again in "Eclipse" when Dorothy touches the Tinman.
  5. During the song "On the Run" an announcer can be heard, but the words are unintelligible. The announcer's voice coincides with Auntie Em telling the farm hands to get back to work.
  6. "On the Run" includes the sound of airplanes. As Dorothy sings "Over the Rainbow" she looks upward and at one point her eyes seem to follow an object flying across the sky.
  7. As the lyric "No one told you when to run" plays, Dorothy starts to run.

Questions:

1. Should players in pro sports leagues in the United States (MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL) be required to speak English?

Diesel If they do, they get their full salary. If not, they get minimum wage.
Brother Nature Yes.
Rainman No, they are here for their athletic prowess, not their ability to pontificate.
Ahchie Yes, at the minimum they should be able to conduct an interview without a translator.

2. Do you support the legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes?

Diesel Yes, everyone, sick or not, should get a free dooby once every six months.
Brother Nature Yes
Rainman Yes, if prescribed by a doctor. Users must also sign a contract with the doctor because it is a controlled substance, yada, yada, yada.
Ahchie No.

3. How is Vlad Guerrero going to do this season?

Diesel He will be killed sometime this summer a la Lyman Bostock.
Brother Nature He's gonna suck - he is overrated.
Rainman He'll do all right, but not as good as in Montreal.
Ahchie He will have a really good year.

4. A question of etiquette, when you pass do you give the ass or the crotch?

Diesel The crotch - I want them to take a big hard peak and as The Charger would say, a whiff chaser.
Brother Nature Crotch.
Rainman Crotch.
Ahchie Crotch.

5. If Barry Bonds is found to have taken steroids (he has denied it), should his single season home run record be shown with an asterisk?

Diesel If it can be proved that he took them during that season.
Brother Nature Yes.
Rainman Same as what The Diesel says.
Ahchie No.

6. What should happen to the career stats of players found guilty of illegal steroid use?

Diesel Nothing - the league knew it was going on and did nothing, so why should I?
Brother Nature No asterisk.
Rainman They should have a league wide policy with mandatory weekly testing for everybody to protect the players from themselves. First violation would be 5 games suspension without pay, second violation would be 10 games, third violation would be 25 games, and fourth violation would be 1 full year.
Ahchie Nothing - it is in the past. They need to start enforcing now with strict penalties.

7. What would Babe Ruth be hitting if he played today (what would be an average season for him - batting average and home runs)?

Diesel Exactly those of Jeremy Burnitz.
Brother Nature .329 / 44 HR
Rainman .200, 15 HR, 40 RBI
Ahchie He'd be John Kruk.

8. What is your stance on gay marriage and civil unions for gays?

Diesel Keep sucking d's if you need to, but if you're worried about benefits, get jobs. Same thing for the broads - make a choice sucking d or get a job. No marriage.
Brother Nature Fine, let them do what they want. I don't care, just don't want to see it on TV.
Rainman No on all of it.
Ahchie Totally against both.

9. How do you feel about the graffiti message "Dear Mother Nature: Drop Dead"?

Diesel Support it.
Brother Nature Do not support it.
Rainman Do not support it.
Ahchie There is no Mother Nature.

10. Did Pink Floyd synch Dark Side of the Moon to Wizard of Oz on purpose?

Diesel They made the music then decided to synch it up.
Brother Nature It is all pure coincidence.
Rainman Had the songs, got loaded, then decided to make it jive with the movie.
Ahchie Too many perfectly timed instances for it to be coincidence.

Name Change:

Congo shall now be known as Brother Nature.