Monday, January 31, 2005
Hosted by: Papa Ukraine
Movies:
Zardoz
Nightmare on Elm Street 2, American Idol and other Ahchie offerings
Quote:
"How about if I arc some strudel on your nostril"
According to Throcksmorton, what Philadelphia
76'ers super sub Kyle Korver should have said to a female reporter after he
won game 89-88 with last second shot. After a couple of questions in which
Korver supplied casual responses, she asked him if he ever got very excited,
prompting Throck to speak up for him.
Questions:
1. Do you support televised executions?
| Diesel | Yes, if you see the guy sitting there, the lights go out, there is no sound, 3 minutes later the lights come on and you see a bloody mess. The only light during the 3 minutes would be from a strobe light. |
| Brother Nature | No, it would further desensitize people to violence. |
| Throcksmorton | No. |
| Archie | No, but there should be a statewide controlled brownout for 15 seconds at the time of execution. The controlled brownout would be supervised by Gary Gray Davis. |
2. Who is your Paul McCartney?
| Diesel | Paul McCartney |
| Brother Nature | Paul McCartney |
| Throcksmorton | Bill Walton |
| Archie | The Rapist (Kobe Bryant) |
Movie Reviews:
Zardoz
Review by The Diesel
Zed (Sean Connery) is an Exterminator. Exterminator’s are ordered by their god, Zardoz, to “kill the Brutals” and are regularly reminded, to their dismay, that “The penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds.” The Brutals are small packs of men who dress like John Cusak, congregate on beaches, and run in tight packs when frightened. The Exterminators’ preferred method of killing the Brutals is by shooting them with pistols that never need reloading while chasing them down on horseback. While not queer, the Exterminators often wear a huge mask, a small red loincloth, and high leather boots when hunting for Brutals.
After Zed’s job is reclassified from Exterminator to Farmer, Zed becomes despondent. After an unproductive meeting with his union steward, Zed hops into the next departing Zardoz head and floats off to Paradise. The inhabitants of Paradise could easily destroy Zed, but they decide to study him because he is easily agitated, has George Foster quality sideburns, and sports a constant erection. On the rare occasions that Zed speaks he says such things as, “I've seen men rape a blind crippled woman in a wet ditch,” which only serve to make him even more fascinating. After getting himself an outfit more appropriate for Paradise, Zed starts planting his love seeds into the local ladies, except for one apathetic who Zed angrily tosses across the room after she doesn’t respond to one of his passionate gropings. One of the locals of Paradise, known as Friend, sounds like a poor man’s Jimmy Stewart, but later finds himself dead while making wisecracks.
Eventually, Zed thinks it would be fun to round up the old crew, so he invites his Exterminator buddies to Paradise. Zed’s fellow Exterminators quickly take charge and start killing all of the inhabitants, most of them pleading to be killed, as they have already lived for hundreds of years.
Additional Note:
Dung King was mentioned.
