January 20, 2005: An Open Letter to Steve Latshaw
Steve Latshaw
Director of Jack-O
Dear Mr. Latshaw,
The BMTG sends you this open letter to congratulate you on the 10th anniversary edition of Jack-O and to express our gratitude for your generosity in providing the BMTG with related Jack-O memorabilia. Your gifts exceeded our expectations and for that we are especially grateful.
Members of the BMTG enjoyed listening to your insightful and sometimes contentious Jack-O commentary with executive producer Fred Olen Ray. We found that Olen Ray’s uncalled for belligerence revealed much about his character. We were pleased that you decided to finish the commentary to the end, despite his attempts to derail it with inappropriate comments about your son and your filmmaking. While Olen Ray seemed more interested in making snide comments, it was clear that your goal was to provide insights that viewers would be interested in. Fred Olen Ray clearly has a chip on his shoulder and he seems angry that viewers don’t always understand his intentions in his movies as well as being annoyed at the public's inability to pick up on the suttel (BMTG official spelling) shout-outs that he inserts into his films. While negligible, he does have a slightly better opinion of his audience than he does of movie critics, whom he considers helpless ignoramuses. It is clear to the BMTG that Fred Olen Ray prefers to blame others for his professional failures and gets great pleasure from belittling the accomplishments of those who take from his self-directed spotlight. Perhaps you should direct Mr. Olen Ray to the BMTG’s review of Jack-O as well as other films on the usesoap.com website and he will see that not all reviews are as awful as he thinks.
In appreciation of your generosity, the BMTG Big Four would like to offer themselves as being available for cameo roles in any of your upcoming projects. While none of the Big Four have any acting experience, each one has something unique to offer. The Diesel is available to be the “dirty player” in sporting events, always ready to give a shiver in the back when the officials are not looking. Throcksmorton’s specialty is sleeping and he is the most willing to remove his shirt at anyone’s request to reveal his disgustingly hairy chest. Brother Nature is best utilized as a carefree frolicking hippie or a male victim who screams like a frightened woman. Ahchie is able to fill many roles, with his best role being that of a "left-handed Ukrainian man". While some may say that Ahchie is photogenic, at least 43% of his face must be hidden from view at all times. While The BMTG Big Four are willing to work for embarrassingly low wages, they do require a location suitable to play Wiffle Ball along with a clipboard to secure the scoresheet. Photos of the Big Four are available on the usesoap.com website on the “Meet the BMTG” page.
The BMTG wishes you well in your future endeavors and again thanks you and your son for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
(SIGNED BY THE BMTG BIG FOUR)