The BMTG - Join for the grooming tips and stay for the highly valuable therapeutic benefits.

The open application period has passed. Stay tuned for the next opportunity. Special consideration shall be given to individual applications on a case by case basis.

Priority is given to:

Men with skulletts
Women with cankles that can provide catering services only
Rodney King riot participants
Anyone with "gil" in their name

Requirements:

  1. Must be 18 years of age or older (18 to 20 is at the prohibitional level, see below)
  2. Must abide by the BMTG Rules, Guide to Life, and Language Guide.
  3. Must be able to participate in BMTG online events (including, but not limited to, Football, March Madness, We Are the Same Person, and Fun with Death)
  4. Must be able to contribute at least one web worthy item per month (article, open letter, foodery review, photo) that is in line with current BMTG usesoap.com postings.

Application:

  1. Name
  2. Age
  3. E-Mail
  4. City/Country
  5. Availability for BMTG Sacramento events (wiffle, street heat)
  6. Availability for BMTG road trips (next road trip is July 2005 California/Oregon/Washington)
  7. Why should we let you be a member?
  8. What is the main reason people hate you?
  9. 200 words or more on how Fruity Pebbles or Cocoa Pebbles impacted your life - ridiculously long write ups, with fake quotes, will receive 75 bonus points.
  10. Who Would You Fight (President / Celebrity / Athlete)?

Initiation:

  1. Must be able to recite, from memory, and with reasonable accuracy the skin care monologue from American Psycho (movie or book).
  2. Take a spin from the sanction wheel and perform the sanction.

Prospective members will first be given the title of Associate for a probationary period of six months. If after six consecutive months the Associate is in good standing with the BMTG Senior Council, the Associate may be raised to BMTG Member.

BMTG Associate privileges:

Privileges do not include:

Prohibitional BMTG Member (ages 18 to 20):

Prohibitional Members are those who have advanced to the stage of being allowed to participate in BMTG sporting events and festivals, but still have limitations based on their under 21 status.

Junior Associate BMTG Member (under age 18):

Those who do not meet the age requirement may apply to become Junior Associates. The application process is the same.

This position is similar to that of "Spider" in the movie Goodfellas. While not a full fledged membership, the Junior Associate displays skills and traits that are complimentary to the BMTG. Junior Associates can be raised to Associate and Member status when the age of 18 has been reached. Promotions are at the discretion of the BMTG Senior Council.

All Junior Associates shall have "boy" included in their name. Upon reaching age 18, the "boy" will be dropped.

Junior Associate privileges:

Does not include:

Please refer to the movie for additional position details that are not covered here.

Junior Ambassador:

Junior Associates who want to be more involved can become Junior Ambassadors. This position is responsible for spreading the word on the BMTG. This includes, but is not limited to, schools, websites, chat rooms, buses, grocery stores, shopping malls, animals, and gravestones. While the BMTG does not encourage reckless or illegal methods to proliferate the BMTG Usesoap.com name, it does prefer creativity in delivering the message, longevity in its display, and maximum visibility.

If funding is necessary, it is the Ambassador's job to write up the proposal (costs, benefits, return of investment...) and present it to the BMTG Senior Council for review.

bmtg@usesoap.com