October 21, 2006: The Halo Wars Forum
Steamboy:
Not part of the halo trilogy, but a great looking halo game indeed. Microsoft
is making Halo Wars, which sounds like no master chief. Humans Vs. Covenant.
Only available on the 360. Trailer looks awesome, check it out:
Albuquerque Tom:
Funny you should mention this...I am in the process of developing a peaceful
Halo game entitled:
Halo Bread Baking Contest
It is an interactive bake-off featuring everyone's favorite masked Halo characters
in a race against the clock.
Careful to use the right measurements!
Using natural, wholesome ingredients and whole grains, the Halo Bakers craft
beautiful loaves of bread...a panel of judges grade the bakers on a scale
of 1-10.
This game is rated Teen and will be available for pre-orders at $39.99 Oct
15th.
(The teen rating is due to the stress of racing against the clock and the
severe burns that any hot oven can produce)
Brother Nature:
The Halo Bakers should have to craft their beautiful loaves of bread under
various difficult circumstances such as an earthquake, thuderstorm with hail
falling all around and in their ingredients so they must remix and start again
or figure out a way to keep the hail from ruining their bread, a whole group
of gay onlookers who razz them at every mistake, and taken from the Amazing
race-several monkees who try to take their ingredients to eat. I know it is
not so peaceflu but they need obstacles of increasing difficulty to rise up
as the best Halo baker above all others.
Albuquerque Tom:
Dear Brother Nature,
Your ideas have much merit.
I do like monkeys.
And the havoc that swirls about them.
Perhaps another game would be to shoot the pesky monkeys into tiny pieces
without introducing their tattered remains into the loaves.
Monkeyloaf.
I think this name may still be held in the copyright office by an English
metal band from 1983. They toured Germany with Krokus until the singer got
his hair caught in an industrial metal fan at the Airport in Hamburg and was
scalped.
Monkeyloaf was over but they still hang on to the name in case there is the
sudden demand of a reunion tour.
Their singer, now badly scarred and traumatized, could never again grow hair.
But he still plays a mean pinball. He began to sing in a band that did not
require hair or a smooth, unblemished face. The band was REM, the man was
Michael Stipe.
...and that's the rest of the story.
The Diesel:
The remaining members of Monkeyloaf did form another band in the early 90's
after subscribing to the Aryan teachings of Tom Metzger. They were called
Masterloaf and had several top 40 hits about the upcoming race wars, including:
"Master of the Loaf", Whiteloaf", "Project Loaf",
and of course "Hitler's Party Loaf".
White Russian:
I'd like to see a show where you have vegetarians come on and partake of three
different loaves of bread. The contestants would have to eat at least one
third of each loaf for a total of one full loaf. One of the loaves would contain
a significant amount of monkey in microscopic pieces (probably about a quarter
of a monkey). To win, the vegetarian must correctly identify which loaf contains
the monkey. The prize would be $20, six cans of dolphin-unsafe tuna, one box
of John Lennon tea, and one dead monkey (fresh and suitable for soup)...
The Diesel:
I would like to MC this event and also suffocate the monkey(s).
Sandman:
Jim Finnerty is available for MC, as is the step son of Stan Atkinson.
Albuquerque Tom:
I remember Masterloaf. They rocked.
Motherloaf was another good loaf offshoot, featuring all of the mothers of
the band Masterloaf.
They didn't rock as much.
Where can I buy this Dolphin-dangerous tuna?
Does it hurt the dolphins only when you throw the cans at them?
I imagine that would hurt most animals. A can of tuna is quite a weapon.
White Russian:
Don't forget the Loaf Brothers. They are the illegitimate sons of the mothers
from Motherloaf (while Masterloaf has all of the legitimate sons).
Dolphins are very sensitive. You don't even have to throw anything at them.
Just a stern look is usually all it takes to hurt their feelings. As far a
can of tuna as a weapon, it is more effective when it is slightly open as
the edge of the lid makes for some nasty cuts. I don't know where to find
cans of tuna that contain bits of dolphin, which is what makes the prize so
special...
The
Diesel:
I don't understand why animal lovers say that dolphins are intelligent.
Even the most intelligent dolphin would be less intelligent than a moderate/severe
retarded person who swims really well but can't make change for a quarter
or understand Masterloaf's message. Not really that useful. I guess anything
that isn't human, smarter than a pillow and blinks can be considered a smart
animal.
White Russian:
Don't forget, personality goes a long way when discussing animals. Dolphins
are considered smart because of their charm and playful antics. Pandas are
seen as cuddly because of their fur and the color patterns on their face,
even though they are unfriendly, uncaring, unintelligent, and won't screw
to save their species. How many people would say that a pig is a smart animal?
Pigs have it the worst because they are filthy, eat their own feces, and lack
the charming personality. That said, pork chops taste good...
The Diesel:
This looks very cool. I assume you are running a large scale battle that you
can be a player in like Battlefield 1942.