February 7, 2005: NAMM
Show Review
By Albuquerque Tom
Anaheim,
CA -- Aging Heavy Metal guys, hip businessmen, Asian manufacturers and
Poison's Rikki Rockett once again converged upon Anaheim the third week of
January for the 2005 NAMM show. Back in Anaheim, the show was much more comfortable
next to the happiest place on earth, than it was next to the scariest place
on earth (downtown L.A.) Mostly filled with music retail employees, manufacturers
and sales reps, the halls were crowded and noisy and the night life abounded.
Some of the endorsers present at the show are sad has-beens and some are more
high profile.
This
year I was busy with work so I didn't get to roam around at all, yet the most
amazing thing I saw was a guy who looked fairly normal with a white t-shirt
that said "+10 Shirt of Smiting." When he passed me, I hit him with
a chair and with my keys I tore the shirt from his back. I look forward to
using it in battle but I wonder if tearing it in half has damaged its magical
properties. The saddest thing I saw was people clamoring to get Stephen Seagal's
autograph outside of the Hilton. He looked serious with a furrowed brow and
a bright red shirt buttoned down exposing his chest. Yet he signed every slightly
damp napkin and crumpled piece of paper brought to him. I saw Billy Gibbons
from ZZ Top get into a limo and thought about how fun it would be to cut his
beard off. He seems old and defenseless, but I decided against it at the last
moment.
The
usual guitar gods abounded (Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Steve Morse, Eric Johnson,
Carlos Santana, etc.) and I got to hear a great new guitarist named Johnny
Hiland who is a fat, blind cowboy that can really play. I also saw a guy at
a booth with shells on one ankle and jangles on the other who played guitar
and leapt around like an elf in perfect rhythm. It was like a trance. Later
that day I was getting a water and he came up to the snack bar in his little
medieval outfit. I smiled at him and apparently stared too long because he
looked at me and said, "How's it going?" I said, "OK."
and ran away. I felt ashamed to have talked to him.
I saw a kid who couldn't have been older than four wail on the drums. I convinced his parents that I was Freddy Ludwig and would be contacting them soon for a full endorsement. I promptly secured their bank account number and mother's maiden name and siphoned their savings into my own checking account which I later spent on In-N-Out Double Doubles and handed out randomly. It feels good to give.
I saw all of the world's best drummers that very few people know and care about. I also got to go to Louie Belson's 80th birthday party at the Anaheim Hilton which was thrown by Zildjian Cymbals. Very nice event. About five minutes into it I realized I was standing in his way and he couldn't see the stage from his table. Sorry, Louie. And happy birthday. I was in Anaheim eight days this time. Again it was a great experience and I was glad to be back in the saddle on the music donkey.