November 16, 2004: NFL
Week 10 Commentary and Analysis
By Ahchie
Seattle Solution
Seattle’s
receivers have often been blamed for dropping a lot of passes. Jerry Rice’s
arrival was supposed to change the receivers’ slippery ways, as they
now would have a role model to look to and learn from. After observing the
“new” Seahawks, the BMTG has determined that the blame for the
drops should not be aimed at the receiving corps, but should go directly to
the quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck.
During the game Sunday, Jerry Rice missed a ball in the end zone. He got one hand on it and had he managed to haul it in, it would have been a very nice catch. But ultimately it was a missed opportunity for a touchdown. The commentators all gave plenty of praise to Rice, saying how great he is and what a positive influence he will be on the eager and wide-eyed receivers. The very next play the ball was rocketed through Darrell Jackson’s hands in the end zone. The commentator got all over him for not catching it, saying that he must catch that one. Later, midway through the fourth quarter, Darrell Jackson “dropped” another one. Like the throw to Rice earlier, it was high and difficult to catch, but the commentators blamed Jackson. Three throws – two of them high and one like a bullet. The one to Rice was just deemed a tough play by the commentators, while the blame for the other two was placed on the shoulders of Mr. Jackson. In reality, all three were bad throws by Hasselbeck.
Manager of the Year
What
does it take to get Manager of the Year? Is leading the Red Sox to their first
world championship in 86 years not enough? The BMTG is not really broken up
over the fact Francona did not get the award, it is just cool to be able to
say again that the Red Sox are the 2004 World Series Champions.
The Moose
“Moose” Johnston, while reviewing the first half stats of the
Seattle – St. Louis game, noticed that the Rams only had 10 fewer yards
rushing than the Seahawks. He pondered that perhaps the Rams were getting
more production from their running game than Martz counted on. With Marshall
Faulk as your running back, backed up by the very capable Stephen Jackson,
why would you not expect good production from your running game? As a commentator,
why would you be surprised at their production? If you are Martz and you really
think that you have no running game, then you should be fired on the spot.
While the BMTG suspects that Martz should be fired, it is for other reasons,
as Martz does know that Marshall Faulk is a pretty good player, even though
the Rams first rushing play came on their 14th play of the game.
The Goose
Tony
Siragusa, former Baltimore Raven, has been spending this season as a sideline
reporter. There are only two explanations for this job placement. The first
is that this is just an extreme response to some negative feedback against
attractive female sideline reporters. The second explanation is that Siragusa
smells incredibly bad and his co-workers need him to be as far away as possible.
Based on how he was used during the Rams game, the BMTG has determined that
the second explanation (he smells) is the most plausible. Unlike most sideline
reporters, who wait until they have some vital injury update to let us know
that there is nothing new to report or they have some special interest story,
Siragusa just blurts out whatever he wants to say whenever he feels like it.
He speaks during the game as if he is in the booth, which supports the theory
that if he were not so smelly, he would be in that booth.
A further indication of how Stockton and Johnston feel about The Goose is illustrated by this example: while looking at video of the St. Louis Arch, Moose Johnston informed viewers to stay tuned because Tony Siragusa will “go all the way to the top of that thing.” Dick Stockton was quick to add, “And it didn’t bend.”
I’m Not Quite Dead Yet
Waiting for evil-incarnate and lifetime terrorist Yasser Arafat to die was
a bit like watching the “Bring Out Your Dead” scene in Monty Python
and the Holy Grail. It was expected that at any moment Arafat would pop his
head out the doorway and say, “I think I’ll go for a walk,”
at which point someone would finally hit him over the head and finish the
job.
Ugly Football
There
were three kicks in the final 1:17 of the first half of the San Francisco
– Carolina game. The sequence went like this: Carolina kicks off after
a field goal at 1:17. San Francisco has a very nice 40-yard return to the
42-yard line, not far from field goal range. The 49ers then proceed to throw
for minus three yards, throw incomplete, and throw for no gain. They punt
the ball at the 48-second mark for a touchback. On Carolina’s turn,
Delhomme throws two incomplete then gets sacked, prompting a San Francisco
timeout with 20 seconds left. Carolina punts and San Francisco runs out the
clock one play later.
Don't Punt, Gravy
You are on the 34 yard line and face 4th and 4. Your options are to go for
it, kick a 51-yard field goal, or punt. What do you do? Buffalo faced that
situation on their first drive of the game against New England. They elected
to punt. The result was a fair catch at the 10, for a 24-yard punt. Buffalo
struggled to move the ball the rest of the embarrassing night.
Observation #1
Ever notice that at least once a week you will hear a commentator
talk about a possible coach’s challenge with less than two minutes to
play, only to correct himself almost immediately and report that only the
officials can call for a replay in the final two minutes.
Observation #2
Ever notice how some announcers add misplaced emphasis to words while
calling a game? The words are often emphasized with little pauses to make
it sound more dramatic. When you hear one of these expressions you would think
something spectacular just happened, when in reality nothing special happened
at all. Mike Patrick is one of the most noticeable misplaced emphasis practitioners,
often making ordinary numbers sound like impressive feats. Here are some examples
from the Buffalo – New England game:
“..for a forty eight yard punt.”
“He [Corey Dillon] has played in seven of the eight they have played this year and they’ve won all seven.”
“End of one, Patriots three, Bills nothing.”
“Willie McGinnis led that defensive charge.”
“Faulk, back to the nine…”
“…on second and ten, sidelined for a while with an unspecified leg injury.”
“What a post season for Johnny Damon. Three home runs and nine rbi’s in the post season alone.”Other announcers do it as well. Tom Brennaman said, “They [San Francisco] start this drive with 7:06 left in the game from their own thirty seven yard line.”
More “Questionable” Abuse
Duce Staley was listed as questionable all week, though it was obvious that
he would not play. Corey Dillon was listed as questionable all week, though
it was obvious he was almost guaranteed to play. These latest examples just
further illustrate how the injury report has reached unprecedented lows in
its accuracy.
Questions for Mike Martz
Mike Martz is becoming legendary for his tendency to make horrible calls.
Each week we will pose a new question to Martz. At the end of the season we
will compile his errors into an open letter.
This week's question:
"Why did you use both of your challenges on one drive in the first half? The first challenge was understandable, but the second was highly questionable. If you had competent people giving advice on when to challenge, one look at the play should have been enough to tell you to save your challenge for later, when a crucial situation might come up."
Fantasy Notes
Houston plays Indianapolis. David Carr going against a bad defense.
Houston scores 0 points in the first half and David Carr ends up with a meager
17 smallworld points. Meanwhile Atlanta plays Tampa Bay. Mike Vick going against
a supposedly good defense. Vick runs all over the Bucs and amasses 292 smallworld
points.
Throcksmorton has woken from his first half slumber. The last two weeks, his trades have resulted in a gain of 1,749 points more than the players he traded away. In week 9, his three trades yielded a net gain of 824 points, while this week his four trades yielded a net gain of 925 points. In contrast, from the beginning of the season through week 8, his moves combined for a net loss of 178 points.