November 29, 2004: NFL
Week 12 Commentary and Analysis
By Ahchie
Pop Quiz – What is this announcer referring to?
The following two quotes came from the same announcer during one of the games
on Sunday. See if you can guess who or what he may be talking about.
Quote #1:
“This guy is gonna be a legend.”
Quote #2:
“And it looks like they are just going to unintentionally walk this
hitter.”
Answer:
Brad Sham, member of the Texas Radio Hall of Fame, was not referring to baseball
legend Curt Schilling or any other member of the 2004
World Champion Boston Red Sox. Sham was overseeing the battle to determine
which team is the best 1 and 9 team in the NFL – Miami or San Francisco.
In
quote number 1, Sham was talking about Dolphins quarterback A.J. Feeley, who
had just thrown a touchdown pass after missing one play with a dislocated
finger on his throwing hand. Last week Feeley played with a bad leg in a loss
to Seattle.
In quote number 2, Sham’s baseball analogy was used to describe Miami’s effort to run out the clock at the end of the first half, instead of attempting to score. Miami had gotten the ball at their own 15-yard line with 1:44 left in the half. They opted to run the ball three straight times in order to run the clock down to zero.
Bonus Quote from Brad Sham:
“Bless their hearts. This is the most punts in a game for the 49ers.
This is number nine.”
Guaranteed Cure for Insomnia
A hearty meal (such as turkey and mashed potatoes) followed by a battle between
the 2004 versions of the Chicago Bears and the Dallas Cowboys. It is important
to note that the hearty meal must include meat.
Thanks!
To
CBS for making the tough decision to switch from the final two minutes of
the San Diego – Kansas City game to the highly anticipated Miami –
San Francisco game. After all, the Chiefs were down by three points and had
only two minutes left to try to tie the score. Better to make sure we don’t
miss a single minute of the Niners game, especially the opening kickoff.
Cross Borrows BMTG Terminology
During the San Diego – Kansas City game, color man Randy Cross used
the term “egregious error” when discussing the official’s
review of an Antonio Gates touchdown. He said there was no evidence of an
egregious error on the part of the official who signaled a touchdown on the
field, meaning there would not be enough evidence to overturn the call. The
Egregious Errors tally was established by the BMTG after week #3 of this season
to deal with inactive or grossly mismanaged teams in the BMTG
2004 Football tournament. Throcksmorton currently leads in Egregious Errors
with three.
An Alien?
The
BMTG suspects that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is really an alien. Interviewed
by Terry Bradshaw, Jones' appearance looked more like an alien trying to look
human than a human trying to look alien. Aliens have long been suspected of
being in the audience of the Montel Williams program.
New Title?
In
Tampa Bay, Tony Dungy was known as a defensive genius who can't win a Super
Bowl. Now that he is in Indianapolis, should he be known as an offensive genius
who can’t win a Super Bowl?
Movie Review – Blade Trinity
The following tired one-liner quote from the Wesley Snipes film best illustrates
what you can expect throughout this standard action thriller:
Stereotypical bad person: “Ready to die?”
Snipes: “Since the day I was born.”
Welcome to New York
Eli
Manning, the man who arrogantly refused to play for the team that is now in
first place in the AFC West, the San Diego Chargers, is already getting booed
in New York.
Disturbing Sign
The BMTG was disturbed by the Burger King advertisement on the netting that
is hoisted behind the goal post for field goals and extra point kicks during
the Northwestern – Hawaii game. This continues the negative trend of
finding more and more places to advertise during sporting events. The ad made
the kick very difficult to see. It should be noted that the ad was backwards
on television. If this type of ad makes it into the professional ranks, the
BMTG will call for a ban on all Burger King establishments.
Questions for Mike Martz
Mike Martz is becoming legendary for his tendency to make horrible calls.
Each week we will pose a new question to Martz. At the end of the season we
will compile his errors into an open letter.
This week's question:
While Brother Nature was so shaken by the Rams loss to the Bills last week and therefore was unable to think clearly and come up with a question for Martz, the game film will be reviewed and a question regarding the week 11 loss to the Bills will be added. For this week, Martz will be on Monday Night Football, so the question relating to this week's game will be added later.
Tuesday update:
The question for Mike Martz this week relates to his curious choices
on what to do on fourth down. Mr. Martz, why did you call a fake field goal
on fourth and seven in the third quarter? A field goal would have put you
within one score of the Packers (touchdown and two-point conversion), instead
the fake had no chance of success as Wilkins found himself alone facing three
defenders. Then, in the fourth quarter, why do you punt on fourth down when
you are down by two touchdowns and are in enemy territory (Green Bay 37 yard
line)? Even though it was fourth and 17, punting away guaranteed that Green
Bay would be able to just run the clock down. The end result was a 21 yard
punt and there was less than two minutes left in the game when you finally
got the ball back. The last thing is, how do you have a quarterback throw
for 448 yards and have only 17 points to show for it?
Fantasy Notes
In
a week that would lead to many regrets for fantasy owners, this was another
week where looking at the match-ups did no good. The perfect example came
when comparing the New Orleans at Atlanta game and the Buffalo at Seattle
game. New Orleans has the worst defense on the planet and it has been suggested
in the past by the BMTG that they move to Montreal and start playing baseball.
Heading into the game against the Falcons, New Orleans was ranked last in
the league against the run and second to last against the pass. Meanwhile,
Buffalo, who has not played well on the road all season, headed to Seattle.
Going into the game, Seattle’s defense was ranked 8th against the run
and 20th against the pass. Factor in that in the previous week T.J. Duckett
was not really a part of the Falcons running game, the logical decision seemed
to be to go with Warrick Dunn against the Saints instead of Willis McGahee
against the Seahawks. This is the reasoning that went into the worst trade
of the season, as Ahchie dropped McGahee in favor of Dunn. The rest is history
as McGahee ran for 116 yards and scored four touchdowns to go with his 26
yards receiving, while Dunn ran for 59 yards and lost a fumble to go with
his 22 yards receiving. T.J. Duckett ran for 58 yards as he split time with
Dunn.
McGahee’s smallworld point total: 528. Dunn’s total: 123.
A
self-imposed regret came from the highest scoring owner of the week, Throcksmorton,
who has been steadily gaining each week and after Monday night’s game
will be less than 1,000 points out of first place. Throcksmorton made the
seemingly bold move to switch from Edgerrin James to Eddie George. While Throck
felt the move was bold, the BMTG saw this as an Egregious Error. Edgerrin
James had rushed for 204 yards the previous week and is the star running back
of offensive genius Tony Dungy’s Indianapolis Colts. Eddie George, meanwhile,
is not even the starter on a bad Dallas Cowboys team. While it is nice that
Throck managed to keep running backs that had first names for last names,
Mr. James had a typical day, running for 105 yards and catching 3 passes for
16 yards, while Mr. George also had a typical day, rushing for 8 yards. It
is understood that there was an effort to represent Dallas the required number
of times, but it was way too early to panic and pull the string on this one,
for if Throck had kept James, he still would only have to have a Dallas player
once in the next four weeks. The egregiousness of the error could have been
avoided had Throck selected Dallas running back Julius Jones, who amassed
an impressive 420 smallworld points on his 150 yards rushing, 2 touchdown
day.
James’ smallworld point total: 248. George’s total: 16.
Throck’s
other regret was just one of those things that happen from week to week. Deciding
to stop carrying three Colts receivers (Harrison, Wayne, and Stokley), Throck
had to determine which one to drop in favor of Amani Toomer. Stokley seemed
the logical choice, as he had only scored 16 smallworld points the previous
week. Once again the move that makes sense did not pan out, as Stokley caught
5 passes for 57 yards and three touchdowns, while Toomer caught one pass for
6 yards.
Stokley’s smallworld point total: 304. Toomer’s total: 14.
The race has tightened up, as Ahchie, The Diesel, and Throcksmorton make up the top three, separated by less than 1,000 points. Brother Nature has found himself in a battle for fourth place with BMTG #1. It will be interesting to see how well Brother Nature manages BMTG #1 in the next four weeks.