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November 29, 2006: NFL Commentary, Week 12
By White Russian

Perfection
NFL undefeateds: none

College undefeateds: Ohio State and Boise State.

Thanksgiving
I understand the gimmick of having John Fogerty play the halftime show of two different games in the same day, but is it really that impressive to have him do one game, then travel to the next one so he can do that? Isn’t that just lazy for everyone except Fogerty? Don’t bother to get anyone else – we’ll just do the same thing for both games and say that we're making history because it has never been done before.

Not that it’s a big deal, but as long as their bothering, who wants to see the same halftime show twice? If you really want to see Fogerty do the same old stuff you can just record the first one and watch it as many times as you want.

BoSox
Heres hoping that the Boston Red Sox wisen up and stop pursuing J.D. Drew and Julio Lugo. For some reason they have an attachment to those two players. If the reports are accurate, Boston will end up paying Drew more than they offered J. Damon last season.

College Football

Majors
This week's sampling of majors that are being pursued by current college football players:

Political Science
Anthropology
Social Science

Playoffs vs. Bowl Games
All of the teams should end their season in the same week. It is silly that Ohio State and Michigan finished their season, while teams like USC still have two games to play. It is also pretty crazy that there are so many days between a team’s last game and their bowl game. Ohio State’s final game was November 18th. Their championship game will be on January 8th. More than 7 weeks between games? That is the most extreme example, but most teams will have a large gap before they play their bowl game. This is another reason why a sweet sixteen style playoff system may work for determining the national champion. The top 16 teams would play in the tournament. They could even figure out a way for the top four teams or so to have a bye for the first round. They could still have bowl games for teams outside of the top 16. And they could even name games in the later rounds bowl games if they feel the need.

Rivalry Week – Texas A&M at Texas
Late hit or not? Based on what was shown on ABC’s broadcast, the hit by A&M defensive lineman Kellen Heard against Texas quarterback Colt McCoy clearly looked like a blatant late hit. ABC had only a brief replay of the hit and it showed McCoy walking away, about to unsnap his chinstrap when Heard comes in and levels him. Describing the play, Brad Nessler said that “after the play was over” McCoy “got earholed” by Heard. Heard was called for a personal foul and was ejected from the game. It looked so bad you had to wonder what in the world the guy was thinking. You’d figure at the minimum a suspension would follow. But was it really as bad as that? If you look at the Texas forums the opinions generally range from the hit was a cheap shot and his ejection from the game was the proper call to the hit was a criminal act and he should be kicked out of football. To the Texas fan, the play was over and Heard took an uncalled for cheap shot. Look at the A&M forums and you get the opposite reaction, ranging from maybe it was a late hit, but he shouldn’t have been ejected to it was a clean play. The A&M fans argue that since the ball was intercepted, Heard was reacting to the play as if McCoy now needed to be blocked during the interception return. The hit came after the intercepting player, Mark Dodge, had been tackled, but Heard had his back to the play and was simply following through on his block. The ultimate point they try to get to is that the A&M quarterback is tougher than the Texas quarterback.

If it was as bad as the Texas fans make it seem, you would think there would have been a Miami Hurricane style throwdown right then and there. On the other hand, if it was as clean as the A&M fans want to believe, you would think there would be some outraged reaction by coach and players at the time of the call questioning what was so terrible. Chances are that the truth lies somewhere between. This is probably a case where the officials actually had it right.

What is known is that Paul Maguire was back in the booth for the game, no longer banished to the sidelines by Bob Griese.

LSU at Arkansas
Arkansas has a great running game, but against LSU they had serious problems in the kicking game and at the quarterback position. Whenever their top runner, Darren McFadden, stepped in and took the direct snap, their offense improved exponentially. The quarterback with the unfortunate last name threw for only 29 yards on 3 completions out of 17 attempts. McFadden, who ran for 182 yards, completed both of his pass attempts that went for 33 yards. Their kicker was so bad that even extra points were not a sure thing.

Colorado at Nebraska
Nebraska had one of the most well executed trick plays of the season. Early in the 4th quarter, leading 23 to 14, on a 4th and 1 play, Nebraska lined up in punt formation. They then switched it up and lined up as if they were going for it. Then the quarterback started walking toward the sideline as if he were going to call a time out. While the quarterback was walking away, they snapped it directly to the running back, who ran for the first down with ease.

Sunday Questions
1. If you were starting a football team, what would you want first?

Diesel offensive line
Brother Nature quarterback
Sandman defense
White Russian runningback
Biker Dave offensive line

2. What will happen to Junior Seau? (asked immediately after he got hurt, after one replay)

Diesel He will be back next week and be treated like a hero for being so tough.
B Nature Broken wrist, may come back for last game of season.
Sandman Out 4 weeks.
W Russian Will not play another game, his career is over.
Biker Dave Out for the year.
NOTE: Seau has since been place on injured reserve, ending his season.

3. What is the logo near the sidelines on the 50 on the Patriots’ field?

Diesel lobster claw pipe wrench
Brother Nature exploding helmet
Sandman miniature of the stadium
White Russian peace pipe
Biker Dave Statue of Liberty

San Francisco at St. Louis
Has 49er coach Mike Nolan ever gone for it on 4th and inches? He didn’t last week against Seattle, and twice he didn’t go for it against the Rams. The most crucial one, of course, was when he didn’t go for near the end of the game. Leading 14 to 13 with a little less than 4 minutes remaining, the 49ers faced 4th and inches at the 7 yard line. Nolan elected to kick and extend the lead to 4, forcing the Rams to need a touchdown to win, instead of just a field goal. Naturally, after the field goal the Rams marched down the field and got that touchdown, as Frisco went into the prevent defense, which, as everyone should know by now, only prevents you from winning. I can understand kicking for the field goal if the 4th down yardage needed was a full yard. But it wasn’t. It was about 1 or 2 inches. If you can’t make that, then you shouldn’t even be in the league.

Chicago at New England
Patriot wide receiver Reche Caldwell's eyes were bugging out so much on the sidelines that he must be either part alien or part amphibian.

Stupidest Call of the Season
You don’t get any more ridiculous than to call what San Diego’s Vincent Jackson did a forward pass attempt. He was happy he got a first down and spun the ball to the ground in celebration before the play was whistled dead. He had not been touched and when he put the ball down it should have been ruled a fumble. Just because the ball moved forward does not make it an illegal forward pass. If that is a pass, then it should also be a pass whenever a runner loses the ball and it goes forward. Vincent Jackson did not attempt to pass the ball. It was not a shovel pass or a forward lateral. He dropped the ball. There is no way it can be anything other than a fumble.

Why do they bother?
Why do people bother going to sporting events if they are only going to leave early? Example: Clippers at Kings, Kings lead by 7 points with about 4 minutes to play. Game could easily go down to the wire. And yet, people still leave. They can do what they want – it just doesn’t make sense. They are going to beat the traffic? Is that enough reason to miss the end of a game where you just paid in excess of $100 per ticket, plus $10 for parking, plus an excessive amount for food - just so you can miss the traffic? Even if you paid a minimal amount for the game, or even got in for free, is beating traffic that compelling a reason to bail? Do they have some place that they need to be? That’s doubtful as you can bet that these same people would stay if the game were tied. These same people stay if the game went into overtime.

And most of the people who leave early are the ones on the first level. You don’t see people streaming out of the seats in the upper deck. Sitting behind be me at the Clippers-Kings game were two couples. The chicks talked and talked (loudly) throughout the game (before they left early) about anything and everything (except the game.) Even one of the dudes spent most of his time talking to them. Once in a while they would notice that there was a basketball game going on. They would have the same conversation at any bar with a TV in the background showing the game. Again, they can do what they want – I just don’t get why they bother.

Quotes
"You would eat any guy under the table."
     Jay Leno to Cameron Diaz, referring to her ability to eat large quantities of food

"The cameraman almost caught that ball.” [pause] “Or camerawoman. All apologies, Courtney. I’m such a sexist bastion."
     Rob Otto, during the Northern Illinois at Eastern Michigan game. The last word was difficult to understand. At first it sounded like “bastard,” but after hearing it several times, “bastion” is the only word that makes any amount of sense.

"The Lord of the Rings is bringing the leprechauns of South Bend to the heart of Tinseltown."
     Brent Musberger, in his introduction before the Notre Dame at USC game

"And now it looks like the road to Glendale, Arizona, is paved with Trojans."
     Brent Musberger, after Jarrett scored in the 4th quarter to put USC up 37 to 17

"I guess I must be dumb cuz u had a pocket full of horses – Trojan, and some of them used."
     Prince, Little Red Corvette

"Have your way with a Trojan."
     Typical shirt worn by UCLA fan at their annual beat USC rally

"There’s nothing wrong with a good fist fight."
     John Madden

"You know, in the National Football League, more games are lost than are won."
     Ron Jaworski

"Listen gang, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish."
     Mike Ditka, while reviewing the Giants win loss record in the first half of the season versus the second half since 2003

Seattle’s Win Formula
Tony Kornheiser made a comment during the Seattle – Green Bay game that Seattle was reaching a threshold when they scored passed 20 points scored on the evening. He gave the numbers for how many games Seattle has won in the last few years when they score at least 20 points, intimating that Seattle was virtually guaranteed a victory.

Week
20 or more points
19 or less points
Win
Loss
PCT
Win
Loss
PCT
12
13
5
.722
3
11
.214
11
12
4
.750
4
12
.250
10
9
5
.643
7
11
.389
9
11
4
.733
3
10
.231
8
12
6
.667
2
8
.200
7
11
7
.611
2
6
.250
6
11
5
.688
2
8
.200
5
11
5
.688
3
9
.250
4
11
4
.733
3
10
.231
3
9
6
.600
5
8
.385
2
11
3
.786
5
13
.278
1
11
2
.846
5
14
.263
ALL
132
56
.702
44
120
.268

On the surface it may sound slightly impressive, but is it really that significant a stat to say that Seattle has a great chance of winning when scoring 20 points or more? It seems to me that any team that scores 20 or more points will have a decent chance of winning. Through 12 games this season, in fact, 70% of the teams that have scored at least 20 points won their game, while only 27% of the teams that scored less than 20 points won their games, as illustrated by these numbers:

Based on the numbers Kornheiser gave, Seattle had only lost once in the past couple of years when scoring 20 or more, which is still far better than 70%. But when you look at each team during this season, you will find that there are 5 teams that have not lost when scoring 20 or more, and you will find an additional 9 teams that have lost only once when scoring 20 or more. This season Seattle is 5 and 1 (.833 win pct) when scoring 20 or more, which is tied for 9th in the league. There are only three teams in the league that have a better win percentage when they score less than 20, with the most notable being Denver at 1 and 2 when they score 20 or more, and 6 and 2 when they score less. The team by team breakdown is as follows:

Team
20 or more points
19 or less points
Win
Loss
PCT
Win
Loss
PCT
IND
8
0
1.000
2
1
.667
CHI
7
0
1.000
2
2
.500
CAR
5
0
1.000
1
5
.167
KC
5
0
1.000
2
4
.333
ATL
4
0
1.000
1
6
.143
SD
9
1
.900
0
1
.000
BAL
7
1
.875
2
1
.667
NE
6
1
.857
2
2
.500
NYJ
5
1
.833
1
4
.200
SEA
5
1
.833
2
3
.400
TEN
4
1
.800
0
6
.000
DAL
7
2
.778
0
2
.000
NO
6
2
.750
1
2
.333
BUF
3
1
.750
2
5
.286
MIA
3
1
.750
2
5
.286
MIN
3
1
.750
2
5
.286
JAC
4
2
.667
2
3
.400
CIN
5
3
.625
1
2
.333
SF
3
2
.600
2
4
.333
WAS
3
2
.600
1
5
.167
GB
4
3
.571
0
4
.000
PIT
4
3
.571
0
4
.000
PHI
5
4
.556
0
2
.000
STL
3
3
.500
2
3
.400
CLE
2
2
.500
1
6
.143
OAK
2
2
.500
0
7
.000
TB
2
2
.500
1
6
.143
NYG
3
4
.429
3
1
.750
DET
2
3
.400
0
6
.000
DEN
1
2
.333
6
2
.750
ARI
1
3
.250
1
6
.143
HOU
1
3
.250
2
5
.286
ALL
132
56
.702
44
120
.268

This Week’s Edition of Commentators Who Need To Go

Bryant Gumbel (NFL Network Thursday Night games)

Michael Irvin

Egregious Fantasy Notes

The egregiousness continues for Tin Man, this time for ranking Donovan McNabb as the number one quarterback, even though he is done for the season, and having a backup quarterback who doesn't play (Kurt Warner) as his number three quarterback.

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