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December 7, 2004: NFL Week 13 Commentary and Analysis
By Ahchie

Quote Machines
Curt Menefee, play by play man, and Tim Green, color commentator, were veritable quote machines during the San Francisco – St. Louis game. Here are three examples:

Stating the Obvious
“If the Rams can continue to successfully run the ball against the 49ers, then the big pass is gonna be wide open later, Curt.”
     Tim Green, during the Rams first drive of the game

Stating the Obvious combined with Language Guide violation - use of “To be honest with you…”
“If Chris Chandler can just hold on to this lead, I think they’ll be more than happy to not to put Bugler in and, to be honest with you, I think even if they get down we won’t see Bulger again today.”
     Curt Menefee

Awkward Quote/Weak Transition from cheerleaders to the halftime show
Scene: Returning from commercial, cheerleaders are shown in background with a graphic showing that halftime is coming up.

Menefee (rapidly and without pause): “Everyone’s cheering because we’re about to shut up for a little while, but the guys in the studio will take over…”

Green (simultaneously and slowly): “Niiiiiice, absolutely.”

Menefee: “…The halftime report sponsored by [yada, yada, yada]…”

Not once did Menefee stop talking or even pause for a breath of air. Green was obviously just drooling and could only manage two words.

Not to be outdone, Joe Theismann got into the act with his own quote reel:

Say What? Quote
“But is he really a rookie?”
     Joe Theismann, regarding rookie Ben Roethlisberger. Theismann was somehow trying to make a point that Big Ben is playing with a chip on his shoulder because Eli Manning and Philip Rivers were drafted ahead of him. Even though he is playing better than players that were picked before him in the draft, the BMTG is certain that Ben should still be considered a rookie.

Silly Quote
“What toughness. Boy, you just gotta bring yourself into this game and say, ‘You know what? People are gonna hit me – I gotta hit people.’”
     Joe Theismann

Say What? Quote Number Two
“You just have to try and keep running against this defense – the yards aren’t as important.”
     Joe Theismann, regarding Fred Taylor running against the Pittsburgh defense. While it is understood that Joe was just trying to make the point that Jacksonville should not abandon the running game after a few struggles, the BMTG is still trying to figure out when yards became less important. The last time the BMTG checked, you still needed ten yards for a first down and you still needed to get yards to eventually make your way into the end zone, which would make the yards seem pretty important.

Finally, Chris Collinsworth decided to go the absurd and idiotic route with his quote when he discussed the ending of Brett Favre’s (pronounced "fawv-ruh") streak of 37 games where he threw at least one touchdown pass, which is second to the record of 47, held by Johnny Unitas. After Favre had come out of the blowout game against the Eagles, Green Bay, under their backup quarterback, had advanced the ball to first and goal behind a highly questionable pass interference call.

“And I guarantee you Brett Favre would have the right to get off the bench right now and throw three times into the end zone and try to keep it extended.”
     Chris Collinsworth

He praised Favre for agreeing to come out of the game and that Favre is essentially telling his teammates that he will not put himself ahead of the team. All this while Green Bay is losing 47 to 3. First, if records are meaningless to him, why did Favre lay down for Michael Strahan to give him a tainted single season sacks record? Second, why would Collinsworth think that going back into the game for a first and goal situation be a good way to keep a record alive? Collinsworth is revealing that he does not mind manufactured records, because if Favre did go back in the game to get that touchdown, manufactured is exactly what it would be. The integrity of records and stats is called into question and begin to become meaningless as soon as the numbers are manipulated and forced out of the natural course of the game.

Offensive Interference
Previously, in week 7, the unfairness of the pass interference call was discussed. A perfect example came up during the San Francisco – St. Louis game this week. With about one minute left in the half, Isaac Bruce committed offensive pass interference in the end zone on a 34-yard pass that would have been easily intercepted. The penalty was only 10 yards, putting the Rams at the 44-yard line. On the next play (second and 16), the Rams completed a pass for 10 yards to get back where they were. After an incomplete pass on third down, they kicked a field goal with 45 seconds left in the half. Had the situation been reversed in the end zone and there was a defensive pass interference call, the ball would have been placed at the one for a first and goal, virtually guaranteeing the Rams a touchdown, since the interference would have in theory taken a touchdown away. Looking at this situation, Bruce’s offensive interference in theory took an interception away, so the penalty should be just as severe, virtually guaranteeing that the Rams would lose the ball.

As stated earlier in the season, the penalty for offensive pass interference should be on a scale based on the length of the pass attempt. If the attempt is a short one (less than 20 yards) then the penalty should remain 10 yards. If the attempt is of medium range (20 to 40 yards) then the penalty should increase to 20 yards. And if the attempt is more than 40 yards, the penalty should be increased to 30 yards. Using this scale, the penalty should have been 20 yards on the Rams, putting them further out of field goal range and making it much more of a possibility that the Rams would end up having to punt.

Clock Management
It is late in the Pittsburgh – Jacksonville game. Pittsburgh is down by two points and is starting their final drive on their own 25 with 1:55 on the clock. Pittsburgh marches down the field and is quickly within field goal range. The Steelers get to the Jacksonville 20 yard line with about 51 seconds to play. Jacksonville, still holding on to two timeouts, finally calls one with 23 seconds remaining. Pittsburgh kicks a field goal to take the lead with only 18 seconds left. Once Pittsburgh was in field goal range, Jacksonville should have been using their time outs to make sure they had enough time to get the ball back, instead they wasted about 30 seconds that could have been used to advance the ball into field goal territory for their own game winning kick. To see how the final 18 seconds played out, proceed to the next segment titled “No Squibs”.

No Squibs
Pittsburgh has taken the lead over Jacksonville by one point after kicking a field goal and is about to kick off with only 18 seconds to play. Pittsburgh elects to squib kick. Jacksonville gets a good return on the short kick and is suddenly about 25 yards away from field goal range. One complete pass and field goal would win the game. In the end, Jacksonville completed a 19-yard pass and attempted a 60-yard field goal that almost went through for the victory.

If Jacksonville had that 30 seconds they wasted (see "Clock Management" above), they would have had a great chance to get into better field goal range. Had Pittsburgh kicked deep, Jacksonville would have had a much tougher time getting into any kind of field goal range. It seems like it would be much more effective to try to pin the Jaguars as deep as possible, rather than kick it short hoping the receiver has trouble fielding the ball. It is understood that they are trying to avoid a big return, but a kick with good hang time gives the kicking team time to get down the field to make a tackle. While their tactic will be considered successful in the end, because Jacksonville did not win, it is obvious that Pittsburgh put themselves in a much more vulnerable position with the squib kick.

It should be noted that St. Louis coach, Mike Martz, was questioned by the BMTG after week 3 for choosing to squib kick with a three point lead and 30 seconds left in a game the Rams eventually lost in overtime.

Enough Already
Troy Aikman and Chris Collinsworth were so distraught that Philadelphia left their starters in the game throughout the third quarter of their blow out victory against Green Bay that they continuously pleaded with coach Andy Reid to take McNabb and Westbrook out of the game. Every time an Eagles player was hit, they would point out that the Philadelphia season suddenly hangs in the balance because they might get hurt. Every time McNabb took a hit, they waited breathlessly to see if he would be o.k. to continue.

What makes this curious is that it has always been proper form in a blow out to let the starters play through the end of the third quarter and give them the final quarter off. It is also proper form to leave your starters in as long as the other team has their starters in. While injuries are possible, it should be noted that injuries are always possible. A season ending injury can happen at any time, even in an exhibition game or in practice. That is the nature of the sport. As soon as you start playing scared, that is when you become even more susceptible to injury.

Near the end of the third quarter, Aikman and Collinsworth finally mentioned that Green Bay still had an aching Ahman Green in the game, as well as Brett Favre.

Once Favre and the other Green Bay starters were pulled from the game at the start of the fourth quarter, Philadelphia followed suit and pulled their starters. Despite the constant fretting by the Aikman – Collinsworth tag team, everything was done in its own proper way, with each team pulling their starters at the expected time.

Questions for Mike Martz
Mike Martz is becoming legendary for his tendency to make horrible calls. Each week we will pose a new question to Martz. At the end of the season we will compile his errors into an open letter. This week's question:

Why did you have your backup quarterback, Crystal Chandelier, throw a pass on third and inches when your running game was marching at will against the 49ers? The Scarecrow had just been knocked out of the game and Chandler was coming in cold. He did complete his first pass to set up the third and short, but it was just foolish to call another pass with Steven Jackson running so well.

Fantasy Notes
Miami offense: bad. Buffalo defense: good. So how do you explain Miami’s 21 first quarter points? In the end, Buffalo’s defense did the job as they recovered two fumbles and intercepted five passes, returning one for a touchdown.

It was an odd week for quarterbacks. Before Monday night’s game, every owner (except BMTG #1) had a similar experience – one really good quarterback (over 300 points) and one really bad quarterback (under 100 points), as shown here:

Owner	QB #1	QB #2
Ahchie	McNabb, 697	Vick, 69
Throcksmorton	Manning, 448	Brees, 39
Brother Nature	Culpepper, 344	Scarecrow, 38
BMTG #2	Brooks, 317	McNair, 0
BMTG #1	Brady, 174	Plummer, 62

Going into Monday night’s game, The Diesel already had the really good quarterback performance with Trent Green’s 461 points, meaning that Matt Hasselbeck should have had less than 100 points in his game against the Cowboys. Hasselbeck did not follow the pattern and took advantage of a defense that thought it was playing two-hand touch instead of tackle football and ended up with an impressive 622 points.

Dallas was not alone in thinking they were either playing two-hand touch or flag football, as Seattle did not seem to want to tackle anybody either, allowing Julius Jones to run for 198 yards and three touchdowns to achieve a season high for running backs at 604 points.

Since week 5, St. Louis receivers Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce have been alternating every week in who has the higher smallworld point total, making it very difficult for Brother Nature to determine which receiver to go with each week:

Player	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12	13
Holt	206	320	202	62	116	380	10	BYE	294	68	256	112	400
Bruce	302	220	284	214	168	24	204		186	177	182	328	40
Numbers in blue indicate player on Brother Nature's roster. Highlighted weeks indicated the higher player for that week.

For two weeks, Brother Nature had both receivers on his roster, which got him a total of 276 points in week 4 (for an average of 138 per player) and 214 points in week 7 (for an average of 107 per player). For the other 10 weeks, Brother Nature has had either one or the other, six times choosing the player with the lower amount of points and four times choosing the player with the higher amount.

This phenomenon is not isolated to the St. Louis receivers. Indianapolis spreads the ball around to Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne and Brandon Stokley, creating a dilemma for Throcksmorton each week on which receiver(s) to carry. Only once has the same receiver achieved the highest points of the three in two consecutive weeks (Wayne in weeks 2 and 3). Every other week there has been a different player with the highest total between the three. Interestingly, the team’s go-to and star receiver, Harrison, has only led the trio three times during the season. Wayne has led five times and Stokley has led four times.

Player	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12	13
Harrison	162	171	200	158	94	BYE	270	368	174	48	166	458	280
Wayne	86	312	450	44	208		60	370	110	134	344	72	264
Stokley	222	58	356	210	88		193	74	72	394	16	304	382
Numbers in blue indicate player on Throcksmorton's roster. Highlighted weeks indicated the higher player for that week.

Twice Throcksmorton had all three receivers, which made for a total of 523 points in week 7 (average of 174 per player) and 526 points in week 11 (average of 175 per player). Five times Throcksmorton had two of the receivers, but not once did he manage to pick the top two in those weeks (twice picking the bottom two and three times picking the top and the bottom). In those weeks he picked two Indianapolis receivers he averaged 220 points per player per week.

New England spreads the ball around to anyone wearing a Patriots uniform. While this diversity is great for the team, in the fantasy world it can be very frustrating. Choosing more than one receiver from a team often ends up in either disappointing or just average results, as you are almost guaranteed to have at least one sub-par game between the two or three players. On the other hand, choosing just one receiver is a crap shoot, as you can never be sure which receiver is going to be the favored one that week.

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