January 5, 2006: NFL
Commentary, Week 17
By White Russian
This will be the final NFL commentary of the 2005 season. The NFL commentary will resume with week one of the 2006 season.
One
final comment on J. Damon
Sandman says, “Johnny Damon’s defection to the Yankees is like
Henry Hill flipping and testifying against Jimmy Conway and Big Paulie.”
Classic Goal Line Stands
The
Oakland Raiders faced 1st and goal at the one after the New York Giants had
been called for pass interference in the end zone. There was only 3:44 left
in the game and Oakland trailed by nine. The Giants stopped Oakland’s
four straight runs, while Randy Moss looked on in disgust from the sidelines.
After every failed run attempt, the camera would show Moss scowling on the
sidelines.
A goal line stand that did not have as much impact on the game, but was still impressive, came in the second quarter between Atlanta and Carolina. Atlanta challenged a touchdown and the call was reversed, putting Carolina at 2nd and goal at the 1. After a holding call on Atlanta made it 1st and goal at the half yard line, running back DeShaun Foster was stopped three straight times, forcing Carolina to settle for a field goal.
Mike Martz
Mike Martz has been fired as head coach of the St. Louis Rams. His coaching
last season may have warranted serious consideration
into letting him go before the start of the season, but what did he do this
year to get fired? Martz missed most of the season due to illness, so it could
not have been his fault that St. Louis went 3 and 7 the last 10 games of the
season. While the parting of ways is still understandable, the timing just
seems a bit odd. On October 11th, 2005, Sandman stated, “I think Martz
has coached his last game in the NFL.”
New Year’s Eve
It was bad enough that ABC rolled out the legendary, but very shaky, Dick
Clark doing his best Kirk Douglas impression on Dick Clark’s Rockin’
Eve 2006, but why did they have Mariah Carey strutting around thrusting out
her ample chest? It would be fine if she were actually attractive, instead
of her just thinking she is attractive.
College Football
With
most of the week 17 NFL games meaningless, the College Bowls were, obviously,
infinitely more compelling. Here are miscellaneous thoughts and a few best
of awards after watching all or part of all 28 bowl games:
Best Quote – Brother Nature, before the start of the Rose Bowl when Sandra Day O’Connor was on the field. When he heard O’Connor’s name mentioned, Brother Nature asked in all sincerity, “Isn’t she dead?”
Second Best Quote – Before the start of the Houston Bowl between TCU and Iowa State, the announcer was going over the players to watch in the game. When talking about TCU, he said, “The guy he [TCU quarterback Jeff Ballard] likes to go to, though, is Cory Rodgers. He’s explosive. This is the guy I like to call ‘Jingle Joints.’ 48 receptions, 10 touchdowns, and most dangerous after the catch.”
Best Defensive Battle - Obviously the triple overtime Orange Bowl between JoePa’s Nittany Lions and Bobby Bowden’s Seminoles. The score for the fourth quarter was 3 to 2. It is still not known what a Nittany Lion is.
Best Announcer of the Bowl Season – Brad Nessler, Sugar Bowl. As a bonus, his partner, Bob Griese, was entertaining to listen to, as he sounded like an older fellow who speaks his mind – almost as if he forgets that he is on television. In just one example, early in the game when one team challenged whether a play was a lateral or a forward pass, Griese asked, incredulously and disgustedly, “We’re doing all this for just 4 yards?”
Best Fake Punt (And Worst Punt Coverage) – West Virginia for their fake on 4th and 6 with 1:45 left in the Sugar Bowl. Georgia had almost no one on the line to guard against a fake and the kicker made it with ease, allowing West Virginia to run the clock out.
Ugliest Field – the blue field in Boise, Idaho for the MPC Computers Bowl.
Ugliest Kick to Win a Game – Cotton Bowl, Alabama over Texas Tech.
Worst Call at End of Game – Outback Bowl between Iowa and Florida, offsides called on Iowa’s onside kick. After rallying from a 31 to 7 deficit in the fourth quarter and trailing by a touchdown, Iowa recovered their onside kick, but had to re-kick after the offsides call. On replay, it was clear that the Iowa player was not offsides. The ensuing onside kick was recovered by Florida and the game was over.
The Alamo Bowl between Nebraska and Michigan gets a special mention because the officiating was particularly poor throughout the game, with some questionable calls/non-calls and Michigan having to burn timeouts just to give the officials enough time to review plays. On one, the replay booth was trying to signal the officials that they needed to review a play, but there was a technical problem. The glaring mistake was that the officials did not give back to Michigan their time out.
Most Impressive Performance By a Backup - Matt Flynn, LSU, Peach Bowl. Also impressive was LSU backup fullback Jacob Hester. Adding in the performance of the defense and starting running back Joseph Addai, LSU dominated Miami in every phase of the game. LSU started their season with hurricanes (Katrina and Rita) and ended their season with the Hurricanes. In a rather disgusting development, the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl will not be known as the Peach Bowl next year – it will just be the Chick-fil-A Bowl.
Worst Day for a Kicker – no, not the kicker for Florida State who missed two field goals in overtime in the Orange Bowl. Instead the worst day goes to Northwestern kicker, Joel Howells, in the Sun Bowl. Howells started the game fine, kicking a 33-yard field goal in the first quarter. But then he had an extra point blocked and missed an extra point before finally making an extra point on his third chance. That was all in the first quarter. In the second quarter Howells had his 37-yard field goal attempt blocked. His kicking was so bad that Northwestern could not even consider going for long field goals, instead having to go for it on fourth downs. In the third quarter Howells was no longer called upon to kick, as freshman Amado Villarreal kicked a 31-yard field goal, as well as an extra point after Northwestern’s final touchdown. To finish off his worst night ever, Howells had both of his onside kicks returned for touchdowns. So the final line for Howells: 1 made field goal (33), 1 made extra point, 1 blocked extra point, 1 missed extra point, 1 blocked field goal (37), and 2 onside kicks returned for touchdowns.
By contrast, in the Peach Bowl LSU was able to depend on both of their kickers. After missing a 50 yarder in the first quarter, Chris Jackson hit field goals from 37 yards, 47 yards, and 50 yards, and their other kicker hit 4 extra points and a 35-yard field goal. LSU did not have to go for it on fourth downs when they were in that no-man’s land area where a team does not want to punt, but also is on the verge of being out of range for a field goal. Instead of getting stopped on fourth down and potentially giving some momentum to Miami, LSU was able to continue putting points on the board and then kick off to give Miami a poorer starting position for their drives. LSU kickoffs led to 6 touchbacks. Miami’s starting position on each of their drives:
Situation Miami’s Starting Position End Result of Miami’s Drive LSU missed field goal 33 Field Goal LSU punt 32 Punt LSU kickoff after FG 14 Turnover on Downs LSU kickoff after TD 16 Punt LSU kickoff after FG 20 (touchback) Punt LSU kickoff after TD 20 (touchback) End of First Half LSU kickoff to start 3rd 20 (touchback) Punt LSU kickoff after TD 20 (touchback) Punt LSU kickoff after TD 23 Punt LSU kickoff after FG 20 (touchback) Punt LSU kickoff after FG 20 (touchback) Punt LSU turnover on downs 45 Interception And why do so many teams go for it on 4th and short so often, especially when they are in range for a short field goal early in the game? There are plenty of times where it works and the team ends up with a touchdown, but those times that they are stopped can have a big impact on a game. First, you get zero points on a drive and momentum can swing to the other team. USC bypassed a short field goal in the first half of the Rose Bowl and ended up with zero points after getting stopped on 4th and short. In the end they lost by a field goal. Fresno State bypassed a short field goal on their opening drive in the Liberty Bowl and ended up with zero points after getting stopped on 4th and short. Their opening drive consisted of 12 runs and 2 passes and consumed a large chunk of first quarter time and they came up empty. They went into halftime trailing by a field goal.
Keith Jackson may be the voice of college football, but during the Rose Bowl he seemed to have taken a double dose of all of his medications. When he wasn’t mumbling to himself, he was not making a lot of sense. In one example, Texas kicked a 34-yard field goal, which Jackson referred to as a chip shot and then said it was wide right as it sailed through the middle of the uprights. In another example, when ABC showed the graphic for one of its new shows, “Emily’s Reasons Why Not,” Jackson said, “Emily’s Reasons…I don’t know…” It was like he got confused halfway through reading the name of the program and just gave up. It was fun to listen to Jackson refer to time outs as “times out.”
Jackson’s partner, Dan Fouts, did not fare much better, provoking the comment early on from The Diesel that, “Fouts stinks.” Fouts displayed a knack for stating the completely obvious. His key to the game for Texas was for Texas to be In-“Vince”-able. When, after USC had run 72 plays on offense and the graphic showed 36 run plays and 36 pass plays, Fouts made sure to point out that USC has a balanced attack.
ABC Commentator Aaron Taylor looks like a Mr. Potato Head with the mouth put on crooked.
The first two interviews after the Rose Bowl: USC coach Pete Carroll and USC quarterback Matt Leinart. Didn’t USC lose?
Speaking of Matt Leinart, he showed poor form during that brief interview when he blamed his defense for the loss and indicated that USC still has the better team. Instead of conducting himself with class and giving credit to Texas, his comments just sounded like sour grapes.
In the Sugar Bowl, ABC could not stop itself from showing dejected Georgia fans every time West Virginia did anything. They particularly focused on their agonized faces while West Virginia went to a 28 to 0 lead, then again later when West Virginia went up 38 to 28. They had more opportunities to show the Georgia fans’ pain as time ran out.
In the Fiesta Bowl, ABC could not stop itself from showing Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn’s sister, who’s boyfriend plays on Notre Dame’s Fiesta Bowl opponent, Ohio State.
One of the most entertaining games was the Hawaii Bowl between Nevada and Central Florida.
College football needs to cut back on the excessive celebration after touchdown penalties. It is fine to have a rule where the player and team scoring a touchdown should conduct themselves with class, but there is such a quick flag even when there is no showboating, taunting, or anything negative. Many times players are getting called for unsportsmanlike conduct just for being happy they scored. And what is so wrong with diving into the end zone when you don’t really need to dive into the end zone to score?
Why are there so many “block in back” penalties during kickoff and punt returns? Seems like a ton more than ever before.
Ryan Leaf’s brother was playing quarterback in San Diego. He and his Oregon team did not look good at all against the Oklahoma Sooners in the Holiday Bowl. Oregon did not have the appearance of a team ranked #6 in the nation.
The Emerald Bowl in San Francisco had no green in its bowl logo. This game also featured a female play-by-play man. Georgia Tech did not bother to show up.
In the Champs Sports Bowl, it seemed at times that Clemson did not bother to show up, but they did just enough to get the win.
Louisville (Gator Bowl) has a cornerback named William Gay. Florida State (Orange Bowl) has a wide receiver named Decody Fagg.
The cool thing about college games is that momentum swings so quickly. One team can score three touchdowns in the first quarter and it doesn’t mean a thing. Games are rarely out of reach.
In the span of about 8 minutes in the 4th quarter of the Gator Bowl, Virginia Tech, after not doing very much for 3 full quarters, went from 11 points down to 11 points up.
Fantasy Notes
Steamboy and Sandman failed to submit their Pick ‘Em picks, resulting
in more Egregious Errors. Sandman’s failure to submit his picks resulted
in the complete waste of his impressive week 16 picks, as he dropped to fourth
in the Pick ‘Em category. Sandman also failed to submit a Last Man Standing
team for the fourth time this season.
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