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January 4, 2007: NFL Commentary, Week 17
By White Russian

Perfect Season
Boise State wrapped up their perfect season with their instant-classic victory in the Fiesta Bowl. If Florida manages to upset Ohio State in the Championship Game, then Boise State would be the only undefeated team left.

Before and After
After his execution, Fox News had a graphic that showed two images of Saddam Hussein. One was of Saddam alive and one was of Saddam after the hanging. Even though it was obvious which image was which, above each picture, in large letters, was the description of each: ALIVE / DEAD.

We Are the Same Person – Football Edition
Eric Mangini (N.Y. Jets head coach) – Sean Astin (Lynn McGill on 24)
Tony Romo – Noah Wyle

While there isn't yet sufficient evidence to qualify for the official We Are the Same Person page, the BMTG suspects that Jared Zabransky of Boise State might really be Axl Rose (bearded version).

College Football Majors
This week's sampling of majors that are being pursued by current college football players:

Agricultural & Life Sciences
Sports Management
Education
Economics
Organizational Leadership & Supervision
Health & Sports Studies
Biology
Mechanical Engineering
General Business Management
Sociology
Management

The Bowl Games

Holiday Bowl – California vs. Texas A&M
A&M had a zero yard punt that was not blocked.

On 4th and 6 from the 10 yard line, down by 18 points, A&M goes for the first down and fails. Why not kick a field goal? They could have trimmed the lead to 15 and been within two scores. In the end, it didn’t matter as California put up 17 additional points while A&M did not score any more.

Independence Bowl – Alabama vs. Oklahoma State
“Matt Cadell says, ‘Hey, don’t forget about me.’”
     Andre Ware, after Alabama scored their first touchdown, in another example of how the announcers know exactly what the players are saying on the field.

“I sometimes think – and I like Bobby personally – but, it’s like, it’s almost like Barry Bonds. They’re both gonna get the numbers, but are they worthy of it? Are they worthy of emulation for the numbers they get?”
     Gary Thorne, regarding Bobby Knight's career wins record
“You just know there’s a little extra comin’ with it.”
     Andre Ware
“Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t have a good answer to that.”
     Gary Thorne

It is refreshing to hear someone express reservations about Bobby Knight receiving all the accolades, after listening to everyone else fall all over themselves saying how great he is - like they are afraid of what will happen if they don't kiss his ass.

Music City Bowl – Clemson vs. Kentucky
“Now that’s why you have review. They get it right and Kentucky gets the ball back…”
     Dave Pasch, after a call on the field was reversed
“Hey partner, they don’t always get it right.”
     Rod Gilmore
There was then a reference to Oklahoma, but it was lost among the banter.
“But Rod, my dentist doesn’t always get it right, but I’ll still go back.”
     Trevor Matich
“You gotta find a new dentist.”
     Rod Gilmore

The first half, and in particular the second quarter, was bizarre and sloppy. In the first quarter Clemson missed field goals from 37 and 28 yards. Then in the second quarter Clemson lost a fumble and Kentucky’s next drive ended with a four yard punt out of bounds. Clemson scored on the following drive, but missed the extra point. Then there were four turnovers between the two teams in about three minutes. Kentucky fumbled with 7:47 left in the 2nd quarter. Clemson threw an interception on the next play at 7:31 remaining. Kentucky fumbled three plays later at 5:42 remaining. Clemson fumbled two plays later, with 4:38 remaining. Then Kentucky called a fake punt on 4th and 4 from their own 19 and got the first down. On the very next play Kentucky scored on a 70 yard touchdown pass. The quarter ended with Kentucky missing a 37 yard field goal.

Champs Sports Bowl – Purdue vs. Maryland
Paul Maguire is back in the booth – except when they have a guest. When a guest comes in, Bob Griese forces Maguire out.

MPC Computers Bowl – Miami vs. Nevada
The officials most likely got the call right according to the rules, but in this instance it was another case of an apparent fumble being ruled not a fumble. Miami looked to have fumbled on a punt return. The ball came out before the returner was down and before the whistle blew. But, the officials ruled that because forward progress had been stopped, the runner was down and there was no fumble. So, what if the Nevada defenders stopped trying to tackle the runner when the forward progress was stopped? Wouldn’t the Miami player continue to run? The ball should still be live until the whistle blows, whether forward progress had stopped or not.

Outback Bowl – Tennessee vs. Penn State
Joe Pa was in the coach’s booth for this one, as his leg is still shaky enough to keep him off the sidelines. According to the official BMTG Joe Pa Tally, Coach Paterno was shown in the booth 44 times on TV up until about 2 ½ minutes left in the game (21 times in the first half, 23 times in the second half.) At that point counting stopped, though it is certain that Joe Pa was shown numerous more times in the closing moments.

Capitol One Bowl – Arkansas vs. Wisconsin
For the second game this week, Paul Maguire was in the booth, although they did show the variety of places he had been banished to during the season by Bob Griese, including the end zone, the truck, and the sideline cart cam.

“And then we thought a little bit today about where Bob would like Paul to be – because he’s been just about everywhere.”
     Brad Nessler, confirming the BMTG’s suspicion that Griese bans Maguire from the booth when he is too smelly.

Cotton Bowl – Auburn vs. Nebraska
“He’s got a set of legs on him.”
     Brian Baldinger, regarding Brandon Jackson of Nebraska
“Boy, does he.”
     Pat Summerall
“I tell ya, if you want to go bowling, just take one of his calves. Just take that and throw it down the lane.”
     Brian Baldinger

“That’s where we are – on the top deck up there. Way up.”
     Pat Summerall, referring to how far away from the field they are announcing from.
“We hear the hits before we see ‘em.”
     Brian Baldinger
Shouldn’t they see the hits before they hear them?

Gator Bowl – West Virginia vs. Georgia Tech
“Watch Oliver, he stays home, he knows, he sees it coming. ‘I’m out here. I’m out here.’ Oh, Reynaud say, “Nah-uh. I’m going right inside of ya, and I’m gonna get back outside of it.’”
     Gary Danielson, who always knows exactly what every player is saying on the field.

“I think this is one of those must stops if you’re a defensive football team. Ok, you’re lookin’ up here and he goes, ‘Hey, guys, now let’s go over our reads. Let’s keep this ball in front of us. We’ll give ‘em 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 yards, but not 12.’”
     Gary Danielson, late in the 3rd quarter, West Virginia ball, 3rd and 10.

Fiesta Bowl – Boise State vs. Oklahoma
“That game last night between Boise and Oklahoma was one of the best ever. If there was a playoff system it would have been even more intense. Sandy’s heart would have exploded at least 3 times.”
     The Diesel

“That Boise State game might have been one of the best ever played. Lou Holtz, in a rare moment of sanity, said that it was a top 3. I would agree.”
     Sandy

“I have it and already am planning on burning it to DVD. It was incredible. My stomach was in knots. Don Knotts.”
     Brother Nature

Win or lose, how could Boise State have been considered such a big underdog before the game began? They may have had a softer schedule than the big schools, but going into the game Boise State was ranked higher than their opponent in the BCS standings. In all the other polls, Oklahoma is ranked only slightly higher. Also, they had gone undefeated, including an impressive 45 to 0 opening game against Sacramento State. And, as it was argued on December 6, 2006, Boise State should have been in the Championship Game against Ohio State.

Regarding Lou Holtz, he has been pretty good for the past month or two, with the exception being his blind loyalty to a Notre Dame team that is clearly not nearly as good as their vast fan base wants them to be. Mark May, on the other hand, has been his usual self, with his stuck up demeanor and generic, afraid-to-go-out-on-a-limb analysis.

Last week, Lou Holtz had this to say about the Fiesta Bowl:
“You’re gonna be shocked.”
     Lou Holtz, regarding Boise State and their chance at being competitive in the Fiesta Bowl, after Mark May said Boise did not have any chance.

Orange Bowl – Louisville vs. Wake Forest
Two members of the BMTG Fun With Death game (Muhammad Ali and Arnold Palmer) were part of the pre-game coin toss.

“He looked a little bit like T.O. on that one.”
     Pat Haden, after Louisville receiver Mario Urrutia dropped a sure touchdown pass heading into the end zone.

Sugar Bowl – LSU vs. Notre Dame
Don’t know why, but it seems like Howie Long and Terry Bradshaw are far better in the booth calling a game like they were for the Sugar Bowl than in the studio every Sunday doing pregame and halftime stuff.

JaMarcus Russell looked much better than Brady Quinn.

Charlie Weis is doing his best to emulate Bill Parcells' body.

New York Giants at Washington
Just a few notes on Bryant Gumbel. He is still referring to having to punt as “giving it up on downs.” A couple of times he referred to someone as being there to “apply the lick.”

“And Tiki Barber said, ‘What do I have to do to wrap this up?’”
     Cris Collinsworth, after Washington scored in the 4th quarter to pull within 6 points.

San Francisco at Denver
The officials seemed a little bit out of it. On several plays they seemed to forget to blow the whistle, leading to confusion. On one play Tatum Bell fumbled, then fell on the ball. But he did not have possession – his legs were on top of it. Still, it seemed like the play was over as no one was fighting for the ball. There was no whistle, though, and as the official was coming over to see who had the ball, a San Francisco player walked in and casually picked up the ball. After review, the ball went to Frisco.

Miami at Indianapolis
“McFarland had his helmet lifted up, blocking his view. He saw the quar—he knew the quarterback was close enough. He just went ahead and just ripped it off. Said, ‘Hey, I’ll go ahead and risk injury. I’m gonna get that sack.’”
     Jim Nantz, after Anthony McFarland sacked Miami quarterback Cleo Lemon.
“Well, defensive linemen showin’ no respect for the quarterback. They go, ‘Hell, we don’t need – I don’t need a helmet to sack a quarterback.’”
     Phil Simms

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