October
4, 2004: NFL Week 4 Commentary and Analysis
By Ahchie
Don’t Do It, Gravy
Teams need to fight the temptation to rely on the two-point conversion. While
there are times that it should come into play, far too many times it is attempted
when taking the sure one point is actually the best option.
For
example, when San Francisco was attempting to come back from a 24 to 0 first
half deficit, they elected to go for two after scoring their first touchdown
with almost the entire fourth quarter left to play. The reasoning was that
if they score two more touchdowns and convert the two pointer on all three
scores, then they could tie the game, while if they scored two more touchdowns
and just took the easy extra point on all three, they would still need a field
goal to tie. This is flawed reasoning because of the fact that the chances
of successfully converting three two-point conversions are so remote that
they are almost certain to fall short on at least one of the attempts, while
the kick for an extra point is almost automatic. Once they fail to convert,
they put themselves in a position of needing that field goal they were trying
to avoid, and run the risk of a situation where that field goal would now
not even be enough to tie.
Predictably,
San Francisco was unable to convert for the two points after that first touchdown.
Now they were in a position where if they scored another touchdown, they would
have to convert for two points just to get back to where they should have
been had they simply gone for the easy extra point kicks. The failed two-point
conversion haunted them the next time they threatened to score. With 4th and
goal, the 49ers elected to go for the touchdown, instead of the easy chip
shot field goal. They failed again and the score remained 24 to 6. Had they
gone with the conventional plan of kicking the extra point after the first
touchdown and taking the easy field goal on 4th down, they would have been
down 24 to 10 and within a two touchdown striking distance that would not
require any two point conversions. Instead, by going with the high-risk, low-payoff
plan, they remained 18 points behind with no momentum. At this point in the
game there was four minutes remaining. While the risky way kept them three
scores behind and without the ball, the conventional way would have put the
49ers two scores away and given them the opportunity for an onside kick. Yes,
either way the chances of San Francisco coming back were not high, especially
considering the fact that the Rams were, for once, not trying to run the score
up but instead just trying to run the clock out. Still, instead of digging
themselves a deeper hole by refusing to take the easy points, the 49ers could
have at least put some pressure on Mike Martz and given him a golden opportunity
to make a trademark late mistake.
Eventually, San Francisco scored another touchdown and was able to convert on the must-have two pointer, making the score 24 to 14. Again, had they taken the field goal earlier instead of the ill-advised 4th down attempt, they would have been within seven points instead of ten. Again they could have been in a position to onside kick and go for a quick score, but, down by more than a touchdown, the Niners kicked deep and the Rams ran the clock out as the game wound down to a predictable end.
Knee-Jerks
Every
week creates some type of knee-jerk reaction, which has been illustrated by
the New York Giants and Tom Coughlin. Just a few weeks ago it was said that
Coughlin is out of touch, that his players are on the verge of mutiny, and
that he was a horrible, mean person who did not belong in the NFL. Ex-jock
commentators were saying that they would refuse to play for such a rotten
man. Now after a few wins, it is being said that Coughlin is a genius, that
he turned the franchise around with his tough and much needed discipline,
that his players are embracing him, that Michael Strahan and Tom Coughlin
have become lovers, and that all is right in the land of the football Giants.
Even in a league where the season consists of only 16 games per team, a one or two week sample is not enough to form solid impressions. The minimum time to wait before pronouncing a franchise as either dead or as a shoe in for the Super Bowl is four games, which is a quarter of the season. So now, by looking at the standings it is safe to say that this season’s Super Bowl will not feature the 49ers against the Dolphins. It is also safe to say that the two teams with the best chance to play in the Super Bowl are the Eagles and the Patriots. The officially dead franchises are San Francisco, Miami, Tampa Bay, and Kansas City if they lose tonight against Baltimore. Officially dead simply means that they will not make it to the playoffs.
Apprentice Chick Not Powerful Enough
Donald
Trump’s number one biz-nasty lady is the now well-known Carolyn, who
is featured on the reality show, The Apprentice. Carolyn also runs one of
Trump’s golf courses, but based on what was observed on Dateline NBC,
Carolyn does not have as much power as Donald lets on during The Apprentice,
as she is forced to pose in pictures with Bill and Hillary Clinton. If she
really did possess the power, she would be able to restrict Bill and Hillary
from golfing on his course and could send them away…far away.
The Aints
It has been confirmed and is now official – the New Orleans Saints are
schizophrenic and cannot be trusted. Time and again, the Saints fail to live
up to their potential. The BMTG proposes that the franchise move to Montreal
and start playing baseball.
Questionable Status is Questionable
The “questionable” status on the weekly injury report is the NFL’s
most abused term. Too many times a player is listed as questionable when both
teams know that the player is not going to be able to go. A player will be
listed as questionable all week, then after the game starts, everyone acts
as though it was a known fact that the player was going to sit. Teams obviously
do this to make it tougher on the opposing coach to prepare for the game,
but everyone knows that injury reports are really only used by fantasy football
owners. So why not just stop the charade and list players with their true
status?
Too Many Crime Scenes
All of the various CSI shows should be consolidated into one series. Having
a separate series for New York, Miami, Las Vegas and wherever else is just
plain silly. Each week on the new consolidated CSI, the setting would change
to a different city and would represent areas not big enough or crime-ridden
enough to qualify for its own series. A great place to start would be Throckmorton
County in Texas, followed by some international locales, including Sweden
and Ukraine.
The Real Crime Scene
The Giants - Packers game was a return to the scene of the crime and the first
meeting between the two teams since Brett Favre (pronounced fawv-ruh) gave
Michael Strahan a tainted sack record.
The New Monster
For
some reason, San Francisco’s Candlestick Park was renamed Monster Park
prior to the Rams – 49ers thriller. The new name was mentioned more
than five times throughout the broadcast, but no mention was ever made as
to why the name was changing.
It turns out that Candlestick Park is the latest to sell out and offer naming rights to a company, in this case Monster Cable Products, Inc. It is disappointing, because it would have been much more satisfying to the BMTG had they named the park in honor of b-movie monsters, which would have created many opportunities for cool promotions. Empire of the Ants night on Monday Night Football where giant ants swarm the field would have been a great way to introduce people to the number two movie on the BMTG Top Ten “B” List, and could have created memories to last a lifetime for young football fans.
Ten Yard Punt
For some inexplicable reason, the 49ers punted from the 30-yard line instead
of either going for it on 4th down or attempting a field goal. The end result
was a kick that went into the end zone, only to come back out to the 20, for
a net yardage of ten.
You Can Dance If You Want To…
…But
not when you are down by 24 points. San Francisco defender Anthony Adams started
strutting around after making a tackle while the Rams, with a large lead,
were just waiting for the clock to run out so they could go and face an actual
NFL team next week.
Clemens is Afraid
Roger Clemens did not start the final game of the season after coming down
with a stomach virus just two hours before game time. Houston needed the win
to get the Wild Card playoff spot and Clemens simply let them down, showing
that he is afraid of taking the ball when it really counts. Fortunately for
the Astros, Brandon Backe filled in and performed far better than Clemens
would have. Clemens does fine in the regular season, but the Astros are in
trouble if they are counting on him for the pressure games of the playoffs.
Questions for Mike Martz
Mike Martz is becoming legendary for his tendency to make horrible calls.
Each week we will pose a new question to Martz. At the end of the season we
will compile his errors into an open letter.
This week's question:
The 49ers were so bad against the Rams in the first half that they took away any opportunities for Martz to make a bad call. In the second half, the Niners reliance on the two-point conversion and refusal to kick for easy points ended up ensuring that Martz would not be placed in a position to make any bad calls on the night. Therefore, unless Brother Nature can find fault with his boy, there will be no question for Mike Martz this week.
Michael Irvin Update
Michael Irvin continued to display no signs of racist tendencies. He stood
up for Kerry Collins even with Coach Ditka telling him how bad Collins is
at taking care of the ball. Collins went on and proved Ditka’s point
by giving the ball to the Texans at nearly every opportunity. Irvin was critical
of Tampa Bay’s Brad Johnson, calling him “Sad Brad Johnson,”
and he wasn’t ready to lavish praise on Tom Coughlin, saying that the
jury was still out on him. Ignoring whether his analysis is good or bad, Irvin
has been consistent in giving praise and criticism to players with no regard
for the color of their skin, which, of course, is as it should be.
Fantasy Notes
Brother
Nature continues to attract injuries. For week three, B-Nature released Oakland’s
Tyrone Wheatley to get Detroit’s Kevin Jones. Jones promptly injured
himself early in the game after amassing a total of 16 points. Wheatley, on
the other hand, had himself a very nice 272-point outing. For this week, Brother
Nature made what seemed like the wise move of switching back to Wheatley.
Tyrone then rewarded Mr. Nature with an early injury of his own after getting
only 62 points for Brother man, while his replacement Amos Zereoue had a monster
game and ended up with 392 points. Brother Nature wishes the injury went to
Kerry Collins instead, whose uninspired performance lead to a negative 22
points and the worst outing by a quarterback on any of the rosters this season.
Throcksmorton
made the case for not making any moves after his trade from Tiki Barber to
Ahman Green backfired. Barber had the best outing of the week with 460 points,
while Green came up with an ordinary 173 points.
The
Diesel continues to pick the best defense, despite entering the season thinking
that was the weakest part of his roster. The Jets defense came up big with
430 points, one week after Seattle came up just as big with 375 points in
week 2 and 440 points in week 3.
Ahchie
finds himself in a dilemma with Michael Vick. Vick is so explosive that a
risk is run when he is not on the roster, but out of four weeks, he has had
only one great game. The other games he has salvaged by running for good yardage.
Meanwhile, David Carr has been the better overall pick based on all four weeks.
Atlanta’s defense has been the biggest surprise, outperforming the Baltimore
and Philadelphia defenses, but Ahchie has yet to take the leap and go with
the Falcons D.