October
10, 2006: NFL Commentary, Week 5
By White Russian
 |
 |
 |
 |
Quest for Winless Perfection
All four winless teams lost (Oakland, Tennessee, Detroit, and Tampa Bay.)
Brother Nature predicted on the Rocky Mountain Six Pack Road Trip that Detroit
had the best chance of finishing 0 and 16.
College Football
Louisiana Tech at Boise State
How do you manage to kick off from the ten yard line? Dare to celebrate a touchdown. BSU wide receiver Jerard Rabb was ejected from the game after getting two unsportsmanlike penalties after the same play. The penalties were enforced prior to kickoff, which accounted for the kick from the ten. Rabb had just caught a touchdown pass and briefly celebrated with a teammate in the end zone. Television coverage didn't show any taunting of the other team, just players being happy. The rule is already ridiculous in that a player can be flagged just for diving into the end zone when he doesn't need to dive. They need to lighten up and let the players enjoy the game. If the players get carried away and truly behave unsportsmanlike, then throw a flag.LSU at Florida
Florida's Tim Tebow, who platoons with starting quarterback Chris Leak, threw only two pass attempts and both went for touchdowns. Tebow also ran for a touchdown. Leak had 26 attempts (17 completions, 0 touchdowns, and 1 interception.)
Pittsburgh at Syracuse
Pittsburgh kicked a 9 yard punt (hit at the 16 yard line, then bounced back to the 34).Navy at Air Force
Navy had one completion for 8 yards, yet won the game 24 to 17. Navy only attempted 5 passes and one was intercepted. They rushed for 317 yards.Highly Questionable Officiating
Michigan State at Michigan
Michigan scored a touchdown on a pass play where the receiver looked to be out of bounds. The extra point was kicked more quickly than usual as the officials were unusually quick in their effort to spot the ball. Michigan State did not call for a challenge, presumably because the coach expected the officials to review it automatically, as the play was close enough that a review would be expected. The officials did not review it, with the announcers saying that the explanation from the officials in the booth was that they did not have enough time. The ball was spotted 23 seconds after the touchdown, and the ball was snapped for the extra point 38 seconds after the touchdown. How much time do they need? Aren't they the ones who can stop the game in order to get enough time? Can't they call down to the officials on the field to wait a moment while they take their heads out of their behinds? Why didn't the Michigan State coach call a time out when it was obvious the play was not going to be reviewed?
Penn State at Minnesota
Penn State was down to 4th and 9 in overtime, trailing by 6 points (Minnesota already scored a touchdown, but missed the extra point). On the fourth down play, Minnesota was called for a highly questionable pass interference. Penn State went on to score and won 28 to 27.Trick Plays
Arkansas at Auburn
On a bizarre play after a 19 yard Auburn punt, Arkansas lined up with all their players bunched together, with one player crouching in the middle. The hidden player took the ball and ran for 34 yards to the one yard line, leading to an Arkansas touchdown.Washington at USC
On USC's first drive, they faked a field goal by throwing to Steve Smith, who was semi-hidden next to the sideline. No one covered Smith, who ran in for an easy touchdown.
Fatherly
Advice from Chris Spielman
Like Mike Ditka, Spielman has a tendency to speak directly to the players
(even though they can't hear him), then address everyone else.
"Make up your mind. Thought brings hesitation, hesitation brings dropped."
Chris Spielman, after a kick returner stopped
at the 9 yard line on the opening kickoff of the Michigan State at Michigan
game
"Opportunity, young man. You're a true freshman. You're good enough
to play in the game - you're good enough to make that catch. He goes up and
tried to chest the ball, instead of snag the ball. If you snag the ball with
your hands, you'll make the catch. If you chest it, it's gonna bounce off
your shoulder pads - as just witnessed."
Chris Spielman, after T.J. Williams dropped
a pass that would have gone for a touchdown for Michigan State
Award
for Most Guffaws
Goes to Verne Lundquist who leads the ranks of all football announcers with
the most and the loudest belly laughs and guffaws. Congratulations, Verne.
Dallas at Philadelphia
How many times does Fox need to highlight where Terrell Owens is lined up
before Dallas snaps the ball? This was an entertaining and exciting game and
T.O. was only a bit part in it. Hank Baskett for Philadelphia was far more
electrifying than Owens. And how many times do we have to see Owens on the
sideline either pouting, ranting, shouting, or being consoled by various teammates?
Is this man the biggest cry baby in the game? Troy Aikman said it all when
he said, "It's a tired act, isn't it?"
Tony Kornheiser and the Art of Being Dramatic
"Being a Broncos quarterback is the most important job in the whole state
of Colorado."
Tony Kornheiser, who could not stop going
on and on about how Denver fans will never love Jake Plummer like they love
John Elway
Baseball Playoffs - Dodgers vs. Mets
Olmedo Saenz is up for the Dodgers. It is the bottom of the 7th inning with
a runner on first and two out. The Dodgers trail 7 to 5 in the game and are
facing elimination if they lose. The count is full. Here's the pitch and Saenz
just stands there and looks at strike three.
Miscellaneous Notes
Shepard
Smith of Fox News has so much make up that he looks the way Eddie Murphy looked
on Saturday Night Live when he put on make up to make himself look like a
white man.
Congratulations to Nomar Garciaparra for being named the National League Comeback Player of the Year.
George Steinbrenner is as big a cry baby as Terrell Owens. Yours is not the only team trying to win the World Series every year, George.
This Week’s Edition of Commentators Who Need To Go
Brian Baldinger (according to Brother Nature). B-Nattie was unable to listen to the Rams game as he felt compelled to put the sound on mute after just one quarter of listening to Baldinger.
Tony Kornheiser. Too dramatic.
Egregious Fantasy Notes
Sandman
is given two Egregious Errors - one for not choosing a Last Man Standing team
(second offense), one for playing Shaun Alexander and Darrell Jackson through
their bye week (did not submit a roster.)
return to top | news home | football 2006