November 3, 2006: NFL
Commentary, Week 8
By White Russian
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Perfection
NFL undefeateds: Indianapolis and Chicago.
College undefeateds: Ohio State, Michigan, Louisville, Boise State, and Rutgers.
Note: West Virginia was undefeated after this week, but has since lost in the big Thursday night matchup against Louisville.
College Football
Texas at Texas Tech
One of the keys to the game for Texas Tech, according to commentator Charles Davis, was to "Go forth with alacrity."Texas Tech has a player named Manny Ramirez. He had a few Manny being Manny moments as he was singled out a few times committing unnecessary penalties. As a team Tech committed 12 penalties for 127 yards.
Officiating in college football has seemed pretty bad this year, and this game was a confirmation of that. Instant replay only served to kill the momentum of whatever team was driving at the time, and on more than one instance the call coming after the review did not appear to be the correct call.
Texas Tech passing yards: 519. Texas Tech rushing yards: -1. Texas Tech first half points: 31. Texas Tech second half points: 0.
Tech coach goes brain dead for a few critical moments in the first half. On the possession in the first half where Texas Tech went for a field goal on fourth and two from the three yard line, the Texas Tech quarterback desperately wanted to go for the touchdown. Had they gotten a touchdown instead of a field goal, those four extra points could have changed the game completely as Texas won by four. On that possession, Tech had 1st and 10 at the 11 yard line. Their sequence of plays went like this: run for 3 yards to set up 2nd and 7, run for 5 yards to get to the 3 and a 3rd and 2, run for no gain and a 4th and 2 from the 3. Then they settled for the field goal. This is from an offense that ran for a total of minus one yard for the entire game and piled up 364 passing yards in the first half alone. Why in the world are they running up the middle against one of the top run defenses in that situation on all three downs?
Northern Illinois at Iowa
Half time stats: Northern Illinois had one first down and 43 total yards. Iowa had 14 first downs and 271 total yards. Iowa only lead 10 to 0.Commentator Brian Kinchen is the Quote Machine of the Week:
"You've got to learn to be able to put the ball in your hands. Your hands are what makes it possible. Your shoulder pads are hard and stiff. Your hands are...are tender and they can move and caress the ball."
As Kinchen's partner in the booth, Clay Matvick, chuckles at Kinchen's emphasis of the word "caress," Kinchen continues with:
"That's, that's kinda, kinda gay, but hey - close."
In a typical over-reaction, the gay comment has gotten Kinchen in trouble and he may lose his job. He will not be on the air next week.
Regarding Iowa's freshman quarterback, Kinchen said, "We did not expect that coming into this ballgame - to see him be able to put that football down the field like that - with such touch. So beautiful - it's like poetry."
With less than two minutes left in the half and Northern Illinois with the ball, trailing 10 to 0, Kinchen uttered this absurd statement, "They need points out of this drive right here to have any chance of winning this ballgame. They can not go into the locker room 10 points down."
On the very next play, Iowa intercepted the ball. According to Kinchen's statement the game is over, because now Northern Illinois has no chance of winning. Iowa went on to score and Northern Illinois went into the locker room trailing by 17. After a scoreless third quarter for both teams, Northern Illinois finally scored on the first play of the fourth quarter, making the score 17 to 7. Northern Illinois scored again with 8:40 remaining in the game, pulling to within 3 points at 17 to 14. Had they gone into the locker room trailing by only 10 points, Northern Illinois would now be in the lead. In the end Iowa won 24 to 14, but the point is that Northern Illinois went into the locker room down 17 and still had a legitimate chance to win the game, despite Kinchen's absurd assessment that the game would be over at half time if Iowa was leading by a mere 10 points.
Central Connecticut at Monmouth
"He looks like he likes to eat lots of waffles."
Brother Nature, regarding one of the referees
Bay Area Teams:
San Francisco was down 10 to 0 to Chicago before they ran their first play
on offense. The 49ers had zero passing yards in the first quarter and trailed
24 to 0. The first completion for Frisco came with 9:20 left in the first
half, down 31 to 0. As bad as the Niners were, they had almost as many yards
(87) in the first half than Oakland had (98) all game against Pittsburgh.
And Oakland still won.
First half: Chicago 31, San Francisco 0. Second half: Chicago 0, San Francisco 10.
Thoughts
on Romo
While these are not exact quotes, the conversation regarding Dallas quarterback
Tony Romo went something like this:
"So you think Romo is the next Brady?"
Sandman
"Mike Brady?"
The Diesel
"Maybe the next Jan Brady."
White Russian
Miscellaneous Notes
Jacksonville is the Schizophrenic Team of the Year. Their
defense is the Jekyll and Hyde of football. In their last four games they
have given up 36 points to Washington, shutout the Jets, gave up 27 points
to a bad Texan, and held Philadelphia, a team that boasts the league's top
ranked offense, to 6 points.
| Jaguars Last Four Games |
|
Opponent |
Result |
| Washington | Lost 30 - 36 |
| N.Y. Jets | Won 41 - 0 |
| Houston | Lost 7 -27 |
| Philadelphia | Won 13 - 6 |
Two weeks in a row a starting quarterback recovering from injury has started against a bad team when he should have rode the bench. Two weeks ago it was Byron Leftwich against Houston and this week it was Ben Roethlisberger against Oakland.
Tony Kornheiser is in love with Tom Brady.
The Monday night race between the big-head costumed mascots designed to look like all of the ESPN commentators was bizarre and more than a little pointless.
This Week’s Edition of Commentators Who Need To Go
The college football duo of Pam Ward and Mike Gottfried. Ward has too deep of a voice for a chick, and Gottfried is another former coach / old guy who takes too long get the words out.
Egregious Fantasy Notes
Tin
Man is given another Egregious Error. This time it is for not choosing a valid
Last Man Standing team for the second week in a row (fourth offense). Like
last season, when he was barred from competing in the Last Man Standing competition
for the final two weeks, Tin Man has been barred from competing in the final
nine weeks of this year's Last Man Standing.
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