May
27, 2005: Slogan Overkill
By Ahchie
Slogans
are nothing new. A great slogan can turn an ordinary brand name into a popular
household name. A catchy saying, combined with the race card, can be enough
to tip the balance in a jury's decision to let a former super star athlete
go free. But when did it become seemingly mandatory that almost every thing
or every event needed a slogan, no matter how bad that slogan was? Two cases
in point are many of the California county fairs and many of the teams in
minor league baseball. While precious few are clever and effective, the vast
majority are meaningless, boring, and highly ineffective. Isn’t the
goal of a good slogan to make people remember the particular item or event
that it represents? And isn’t it the ultimate goal, however difficult
to achieve, to have that slogan become part of the language, where the phrase
will be repeated and applied to things other than that which it was originally
designed?
First
the county fairs. Most of these slogans center around
fun and family with a “clever” play on words. Examples of uninspired,
forgettable and generic fair slogans that could be used for any county or
state fair are “Harvest the Fun” (from the Big Fresno Fair), “Fun
by the Bushel!” (San Joaquin County Fair), and “Come Be a Kid
Again” (San Bernardino County Fair). Perhaps the worst slogan is that
of the Madera Fair – “It’s Goat Time!” What does that
even mean? Is that all that fair has to offer – goats?
“You know what time it is kids?”
“It’s Goat Time! Hooray!”
A
humorous slogan that is only funny because it is so bad is “Green Beans,
Pork ‘n Beans & Jelly Beans” from the Santa Clara County Fair.
You can just imagine children repeating that slogan over and over as they
bounce around the house anxiously anticipating a day at the upcoming fair.
Another really bad one that you would not want to hear repeated around the
house is “Beefin’ It Up” (Salinas Valley Fair). Imagine
this scene:
“What are you doing in there boys?”
“Just Beefin’ It Up, Dad!”
And didn’t the “Who Let the Dogs Out?” craze last long enough? Why, oh why, do we have to bring it back with the Kings Fair “Who Let the Pigs Out??” slogan? Note that this is not a typo – their slogan actually uses two question marks in grand Brother Nature fashion. Brother Nature, as any BMTG member already knows, has perfected the use of multiple punctuation marks to emphasize a point.
The slogan that qualifies as the most generic is “Come Out and Play!” which is used by both the Alameda County Fair and the Winston-Salem Warthogs minor league baseball team from the single-A Carolina League.
Which
naturally brings us to the minor league slogans. These
also have a tendency to emphasize fun, as well as the fans. Some of the uninspired,
generic, could-apply-to-any-team, slogans are “Let’s Play Ball!”
(Lexington Legends, South Atlantic League), “This is Fun!” (Fort
Wayne Wizards, Midwest League), and “Baseball Up Close” (Indianapolis
Indians, International League). While most are boring, many are just plain
bad. The Erie Sea Wolves’ (Eastern League) attempt at being clever with
“See Friends. See Wolves” just falls flat, although they do get
a sliver of credit for making the effort. The Myrtle Beach Pelicans’
(Carolina League) “Baseball with All the Fix’ns” slogan
violates the BMTG Language Guide by using a forbidden
phrase. If they insist on going with the “All the Fix’ns”
theme they would be better served by using a slogan that goes something like
“Baseball with a Meal That Includes What You Would Typically Expect
to Make a Complete Traditional Meal for the Food Types Involved”.
The
Montgomery Biscuits (Southern League) have tried to make the most of a bad
situation. They don’t seem to have a main slogan, but have used “Let
the Good Times Roll”. Even though it is not a new phrase and it is not
particularly engaging, what else are you going to do when your team is named
after a piece of bread and your logo is a biscuit with a square of butter
for a tung (BMTG official spelling)?
Perhaps the Biscuits could use the phraseology of Gil,
the Public Access Man and have their slogan be “Ready
to Roll?”
The worst baseball slogan goes to the Pacific Coast League’s Sacramento River Cats with their “Everybody Plays” slogan, which indicates that this triple-A team is more like Little League than professional baseball. If you are going to insist on having a slogan just because 84% of the teams across America have slogans, then do something different and memorable. For the River Cats, the BMTG recommends “On the 8th Day the River Spewed Out the River Cats”.
The
slogan writing disease for the A’s organization goes all the way to
the majors, where the Oakland A’s have actually trademarked their slogan,
“A Different Brand of Baseball”, which, considering that the major
league brand of baseball is the supposed to be the best in the world, intimates
that their brand is not up to par with the quality you would expect in the
major leagues. Looking at their woeful win-loss record confirms that A’s
baseball certainly is a different brand of baseball, so at least they got
that part right.
There are slogans out there that are effective. Even though donating blood at this time is not encouraged by the BMTG until The Diesel gets his Golden State Warriors (whose slogan is “It’s a great time out all season long.”) tickets from the Delta Blood Bank, one such example is the BloodSource / Baskin-Robbins “Give a Pint, Get a Pint” slogan that equates a pint of blood with a pint of ice cream. The idea has been used across the country, including Cleveland where a pint of blood can get you a pint of drink, including alcohol. Even though she neglected to include all the hobos that can swap their blood in exchange for whiskey, Karen Kelley of the northeast Ohio Red Cross confirms the effectiveness of the slogan in an Associated Press item, saying, “Pint for a pint is a catchy message. I can see co-workers or neighbors getting together days following the drive to enjoy a celebratory drink for having helped others.” You know your slogan is successful when other groups take it and modify it. For example, Dunkin’ Donuts has hooked up with various blood banks with their “Give a Pint, Get a Pound” slogan, where a pint of blood is equal to a pound of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. The Red Cross has tried additional variations, with “Give a Pint, Get an Omelet!” and “Make a Donation, Win a Vacation.” There is even more that “Give a Pint, Get a Pint” can be used for that has yet to be done. For example, you could go to the colleges and high schools and start a “Give a Pint, Get a Pint” program, where a pint of drug-free urine gets you a pint of Mickey’s Big Mouth.
In the end the question is: whose decision was it to sloganize everything? And why does every other slogan for the county fairs and minor league baseball end with an exclamation point?? For every good, effective, memorable slogan, there are an estimated 67 pathetic, useless, generic, and forgettable ones!