May 5, 2006
Sandman at Large - Coach K
By Sandman

Coach K, you have sunk to an all time low. The mere fact that you would allow yourself to appear in a TV commercial for Chevrolet is a sad display of your greed and your all too eager willingness to be glad-handed by Chevy corporate execs. This is a disgrace.

Not only are you one of college basketball’s highest paid coaches, you have an existing athletic apparel contract with Adidas. How much is enough for you? The only thing reason why I can think that you would allow yourself to be a pitchman for Chevy is perhaps you are trying to re-coup some of your losses from not taking the Los Angeles Lakers head coaching job last year that was to pay you eight million dollars per year. The Lakers brass went after you because The Rapist [Kobe Bryant] and you hit it off when you were recruiting him. It must feel great to get such endorsements from woman haters like The Rapist [Kobe Bryant].

Another bone of contention with you is, while you have won three NCAA National Championships, your players consistently flop in the NBA. The reason for this is you only develop them to win at the college level to benefit you. You do not develop them to be successful at the NBA level.

I give you the following examples:

• Danny Ferry First Round NBA Draft Pick – NBA Bust
   
• Trajan Langdon First Round NBA Draft Pick – NBA Bust
   
• Johnny Dawkins First Round NBA Draft Pick – NBA Bust
   
• Christian Laettner First Round NBA Draft Pick – NBA journey man at best.
   
• Jason Williams First Round NBA Draft Pick - Played one year then critically injures self in motorcycle accident, a violation of contract with Chicago Bulls. Currently out of the NBA after one season. Will never play NBA basketball again.
   
• Bobby Hurley Ditto (except with a car)

The only players that have been successful are the ones that left the program after they realized that you were hindering their development. I give you the following examples:

• Elton Brand First Round NBA Draft Pick – leaves you after two years and is now an All-Star and NBA MVP candidate.
   
• Luol Deng First Round NBA Draft Pick – leaves you after one year and is playing major minutes for Chicago Bulls.
   
• Shavlik Randolph NBA Free Agent – Leaves you after two years. While at Duke he suffers mono and foot and back problems. Leaves you and makes the Philadelphia 76ers as a rookie free agent. After leaving you he benefits greatly from chiropractic care (I guess this isn’t available at Duke) and is making solid contributions to the 76ers.

I look forward to seeing JJ Redick taken 14th overall and having a career NBA scoring average of eight points. Coach K, please keep doing what you’re doing. No one can take high school blue chippers like you do and turn them into NBA busts like you can. Keep off the small screen as a pitchman. We have seen you enough.

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