July 4, 2004:
Global Warming Solution
By
The Diesel
Sacramento, CA
The Background
For at least the past decade or more, there has been much discussion on the
subject of Global Warming. Global Warming is simply the rising of the earth's
average temperature. While Hippie Communist Sympathizers (HCS) conveniently
blame humankind, in particular the United States, they base their beliefs
on their simple political leanings more than they do common sense. The countries
that the HCS despise, mainly the United States, have developed methods and
technology to greatly increase the productivity and distribution of food,
increase agricultural territory through irrigation, and develop incredible
advances in medicine. The HCS, who are as much benefactors of these advances
as anyone, charge that these very advances are thinning the ozone layer and
causing a myriad of other ecological changes that are destroying the planet.
The HCS believe that the earth is heating up mainly because of pollution caused
by vehicles and factories, by the Freon in older air conditioners and refrigerators,
and by numerous other man-made products. There is little debate as to whether
or not the earth is heating up, the disagreement is as to the reasons why.
The other rationale which the HCS acknowledge as true, but doesn't help their cause for global socialism and the removal of anything corporate (HCS define "corporate" as a successful company that doesn't tolerate artistic slackers, doesn't play music from obscure local bands in their lobby, requires a clean and professional appearance, and makes a profit), is that there is a long history of repeating significant global climate changes. The speed at which these changes occur is not known, but the belief is that as the polar ice caps melt the sea levels around the world will rise. As with almost all of the HCS agendas, if drastic action is not immediately taken, the world will be destroyed in a very short period. In the seventies, the popular HCS theory was that the world was getting colder and going through another ice age. Maybe the equipment to record the data in the seventies was not as sophisticated as it is today and the errors could be easily accounted for, regardless, the message was the same: "Capitalism is destroying the world and we need to act against it yesterday or all is lost." The HCS recalibrated their instruments and thankfully, their findings were so dramatically dissimilar that they were still able to declare a new world crisis only now the message is: "It's getting too hot".
The Solution
It is doubtful that human kind has the ability to disrupt the earth so dramatically
in such a short period as to cause global warming. To build a single dam on
a river takes years of planning and construction and is viewed as a major
engineering marvel. In regards to its impact to the world as a whole that
dam is virtually non-existent. Can the earth be so fragile that less than
a century of widespread usage of automobiles, aircraft, and refrigerators
can turn the world into an uninhabitable desert? Additionally, it is theorized
that pollution takes several decades to rise to the appropriate atmospheric
level in which it can begin destroying the ozone. If this is true, then all
hope is already lost as the ozone is currently being destroyed by pollution
from the early seventies and even an immediate ceasing of pollution would
not have any positive impact for 20-30 years, if at all (that's part of the
"need to act now" propaganda from the HCS). That would also mean
that the pollution of 20-30 years ago, which is much less than today, was
still enough to destroy the ozone, which means the earth is incredibly fragile.
In reality, each person is simply a single speck, on a tiny speck, among billions
of specks in the universe. To think us so powerful that a small percentage
of our population could, in a blink of an eye, alter the climate on earth
is truly self-aggrandizing.
It remains to be seen if the masses of ice actually displace the water less when melted in direct contrast with science. Place a full bottle of water into the freezer and once it freezes the ice will expand to the point where it will break the container. If the frozen ice expansion process holds true, when the polar caps melt, the ice will take up less space once it is melted. Ice that is currently formed on land and does not currently displace any water will also melt and that will "add" to the oceans. It can be assumed that much of that water will remain in the soil, stay frozen, or become part of a myriad of lakes as the temperatures are not predicted to become tropical in the polar regions, just warmer than it currently is.
Let's assume that enough ice is melted to raise sea levels 20 feet all around the world. Some areas will go partially or completely underwater. How much of a rise is acceptable? While a rise of the full 20 feet may cause havoc in a number for areas worldwide, a rise of 8 feet may do little damage that cannot be easily recovered. At what point does a rise in water level truly become a disaster and not a just a displacement of people, buildings, and agriculture. While inconvenient, if 15 million people are forced to higher ground over a period of 100 years is that really much of a crisis to a worldwide population of at least 9 billion people (15M = 1/10 of 1%)? Probably only if you live in the impacted area but that really doesn't make it much of a global crisis. If the temperature increase results in changing currently abundant crops into unusable desert, can it be assumed that areas that are currently not suitable for agriculture will be oppositely impacted? With the extra volume of water available, will there be even more water to irrigate the land of unusable areas? Maybe a certain level in which the ocean can increase is not only acceptable but actually beneficial.
Once we determine what rise in sea level is acceptable; the amount of water that needs to be displaced can be determined. If for example, using hypothetical numbers, water levels will raise 1 foot with each billion acres of land ice that is melted, we can allow up to 8 billion acres to be melted before we start considering the sea levels as unacceptable. With another 37 billion acres of land ice, what can we do with the remaining ice if it melts? Bottle it. If everyone on earth would buy on average 3 cases of bottled water (24 count 12 ounce bottles per case) per year and not do anything with that until the earth freezes up again, we will all be fine. With the current population of roughly 6 billion people, that would be 432 billion bottles (40.5 billion gallons) getting displaced in everlasting plastic bottles. In only 50 years that would be over 2 trillion gallons of water temporarily displaced. Since there are many individuals in the world who do not have access to bottled water, much less afford three cases per year, it is more likely that the industrialized nations will need to average about 10 cases per person sitting unopened in their garage or back yard. You could bury it, leave it in the woods, or throw it in land fills, as thankfully, plastic will not disintegrate for hundreds of years. Governments would also create huge storage tanks around the world that could hold billions of gallons each. Additionally, if you are drinking from a container that can be closed, save a sip for the trashman. A sip a day per person could go a long way towards saving the planet. The bottled water solution coupled with new technologies and other solutions would thwart or at least delay water level impacts caused by global warming.
The HCS refuse to believe that mother earth would be so cruel as to have a natural periodic cleansing and rebirth because of all the love they have shown her. Therefore it must be man's fault and since they so understand and are in tune with nature, it must be their arch nemesis, the United States. It is time for the HCS to leave childhood behind and realize that their decisions to limit their personal responsibilities and float around like functional homeless does not mean they are enlightened. It simply means that they have chosen the path of least resistance in life and until they have free shelter, food, and healthcare, they will consider the world a cruel and unforgiving place. Undoubtedly, once this crisis has lost its luster the HCS will jump onto another cause that meets their four essential criteria for a disaster:
1) Must be Worldwide.
2) Disaster will take place very soon if drastic action is not taken immediately.
3) Disaster is a direct cause of the United States and successful corporations.
4) Science surrounding the impending disaster will be ambiguous.
By using the bottled water method, we would delay the "flooding" from 100 years to 200 years. The delay will not only allow more time for technology to develop additional solutions but also cities and populations to adapt. With the bottled water solution, this problem is reduced from a pathetic wailing from the HCS to only a whimper and will serve as only a mildly interesting antidote for future generations as they reflect upon the agenda based science of today's HCS.
Note: Successful corporations that obtain revenue by selling drug pharaphenilia, t-shirts with obscure bands, handmade dream catchers, body piercing, and black clothing (HCS styles), are automatically exempt from the HCS corporation hate list. Corporations based in San Francisco, Seattle, and Canada also receive exemption consideration.
