A look at what members of the BMTG are saying on a variety of topics...
the questions | the famous 10 questions | the preferences | the lists | BMTG Thoughts On...
BMTG Thoughts On...
Brett Fawv-ruh
Bud Selig
Roger "Pig" Clemens
Dan Fogelberg
Clinton Portis
September
5, 2007
Diesel
I support sanctioning B.J. as he has Portis listed as the last
RB option. That is disrespectful to a man who at one time should have
been cloned ahead of Mother Theresa and Abe Lincoln. I propose that the sanction
be a 1,500 point loss for week one and an open letter apology to Portis.
White Russian
Portis is the only NFL player to ever get recommended
for cloning by the BMTG. Portis should be listed number 1 until he and
his clone are dead.
September 6, 2007
B.J.
An open letter to Clinton Portis
White Russian
While it was not an apology to Portis and it is clear that you will not immediately
move him up on your depth chart, it was still a nice letter and will be posted
sometime soon. Was a hard copy sent to the physical address? It is good that
you did not take the easy way out and use his Vick support as your reasoning
for ranking Portis so low. Still, you did not address the fact that Portis
is the only NFL player to ever get BMTG recommendation for cloning. It should
also be noted that LaDainian Tomlinson of the San Diego Chargers does not
play in the preseason. Using your reasoning, Brother Nature should place Tomlinson
as his number 6 running back.
For those of you wanting more Clinton Portis quotes, here are some from May of 2007:
“I think people should mind their business, you know. I don’t know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it’s his property, it’s his dog. If that’s what he wants to do, do it.”
“It can’t be too bad a crime. There’s a lot of stuff that’s crimes, you know. It’s killers on the loose over here and you want to hunt down Michael Vick over fighting some dogs.”
“I think behind closed doors the same people who do all the judging are probably some of the harshest people around. They’re internet predators and everything else.”
“I’m from Laurel, Mississippi, so I know a lot of back roads that got a dog fight if you want to go see it.”
“In the recent interview I gave concerning dog fighting, I want to make it clear I do not take part in dog fighting or condone dog fighting in any manner.”
Diesel
I wonder how he would feel if we had cloned Clinton Portis' fighting each
other to the death?
I like the letter and I hope that one of the Portis' take it to heart and
use it as inspiration to achieve great things.
B.J.
Hard copy will be mailed to the physical address this afternoon.
I thought about including some references to recent inflammatory statements
made by Mr. Portis, but ultimately decided to leave them out as my personal
feelings with regard to those statements are irrelevant to the matter being
discussed. I also thought about mentioning that his
website (www.clintonportis.com) has not been updated with his 2006 stats,
which possibly supports that he is not as focused on football (or reaching
out to his fans) as he once was.
While the fact that Mr. Portis did not play in the preseason was a factor
in my decision not to place him higher in my depth chart, it was by no means
the only reason. Player news and fantasy analysis support my decision:
Portis was limited during training camp with an injured knee, and although he's expected to play this week, the matchup is not in his favor. The Dolphins were No. 8 in run defense last year and only allowed seven rushing touchdowns. (Updated 09/06/2007).
With the addition of Joey Porter, the Dolphins' rush defense should be even better this season. You should certainly expect Portis to share the load this week with Ladell Betts and that trend might continue until he can prove his knee is back to full strength. If you have a healthy starting RB on your squad, then don't feel guilty about benching Portis for Week 1. (Updated 09/06/2007).
I fully support Brother Nature's decision to select Mr. Tomlinson as his
#1 running back.
As far as addressing the BMTG recommendation for cloning: I was not familiar
with either the recommendation itself, or the reasons for it. Based on information
found on usesoap.com (the House of Pain and Humiliation); cloning Clinton
Portis appears to be a recommendation made by the DSL back in October 2004.
I wonder if the DSL would make the same selection today.
My
recommendation for cloning would be George Patton. (I would support cloning
Mr. Portis for the purpose of fighting himself to the death.)
Sincerely,
BJ
Diesel
Excellent Portis cloning support rationalization.
FYI to all readers of this email. BJ does a fantastic Patton imitation and
hopefully he will share it the next time you meet him. He can do the standard
Patton movie speeches as well as everyday conversations in Patton's gruff
voice "How do you want your eggs?"..."I need a lube job."....."Portis,
you dumb SOB, I read your web page."
September 12, 2007
White Russian
Still think Portis should be ranked #6? Here is a comparison of the performances
of the top 3 B.J. picked and Portis:
| Player | Att |
Yds |
TD |
Fumble Lost |
| #1 - L. Johnson | 10 |
43 |
0 |
0 |
| #2 - B. Westbrook | 20 |
85 |
0 |
0 |
| #3 - R. Johnson | 18 |
50 |
0 |
1 |
| #6 - C. Portis | 17 |
98 |
1 |
0 |
What would General Patton say to that?
Diesel
Portis wasn't cloned just for the sake of cloning like they do with sheep
and cats. I suspect Patton would slap your face with a glove and tell you
to man up.
September 14, 2007
B.J.
Gotta give Mr. Portis a chance here this week. If he comes through, I may
just send him a congratulatory letter next week.
September 19, 2007
B.J.
Although a number of us took a hit in the Last Man Standing contest due to
the pitiful performance of the Cincinnati defense in week 2, I suffered the
further humiliation of having selected them as my defensive team of the week.
To commemorate this performance, I am officially naming my organization "Slack".
While it might be tempting to label my organization "Slacker", "The
Slackers" or "Team Slack"; the pervasive laziness and general
lack of energy to get things done is being carried over into the name.
In other news, Mr. Portis has been bumped down to running back #3 on my roster
due to his inability to put up big numbers in week
2 (17 carries for 69 yards and 1 TD; 1 reception for 7 yards.) Some may
say the numbers Mr. Portis posted this week reflect the strength of the Philadelphia
defense, but I maintain that premier running backs should be able to break
through against even the toughest defense. No additional letter, of either
congratulations or apology, will be sent to Mr. Portis at this time.
This apparent demotion in no way means we are lacking confidence in Mr. Portis'
ability to perform; after all, he does have a nice 4.9 avg. yards/carry. However,
he is currently ranked fourth in rushing yards for "Slack" running
backs behind E. James, R. Johnson, and B. Westbrook because of fewer carries,
and does not come close to putting up the receiving numbers of these same
backs. We have include Mr. Portis on the starting roster this week in the
hopes that he can put up some solid numbers against the porous NY Giants defense,
and we anticipate Mr. James may have difficulties against the fierce run-stopping
defense of the Ravens. Although Mr. Portis is practically guaranteed a spot
on the starting roster week 5 as both Cincinnati and Philadelphia have byes
that week, if he does not deliver here in week 3 he may find himself sitting
on the bench in weeks 6 and 7.
Diesel
Much like a pedophile trying to justify his behavior, your rationalization
to disrespect Portis only convinces you and others of the same ilk that what
they do is okay. It is not. Mr Portis or his clone in many cases has been
a fan favorite for his on field production and his off field silliness. Portis
will make you pay with his ridiculous point totals while Westbrook injures
himself trying to be a 2nd Portis clone.
I believe that naming your team Slack may be the best move you could make.
As you have pointed out many times, put a lazy man on the job and he will
find a way to get it done better with great efficiency.
B.J.
First, let me make it clear that I mean no disrespect to Mr. Portis. In fact,
I believe I clearly stated that "This apparent demotion in no way means
we are lacking confidence in Mr. Portis' ability to perform; after all, he
does have a nice 4.9 avg. yards/carry." Rather, I blame the Redskins
management and offensive coordinator for not utilizing the talent they have
on their roster to maximum effectiveness.
I find it ironic, however, that although you believe Mr. Portis has such limitless
talent, you failed to select him (and the rest of the Washington Redskins)
in the draft despite having the opportunity to do so as either your keeper
pick or any of the other picks you had available to you. In order to correct
this apparent oversight on your part, and in the spirit of great generosity,
I make you the following offer (pending approval from the other owners of
the league):
I will trade the Washington Redskins (and thus Clinton Portis) to Mexican Dynamite Truck for the MDT team of your choice.
Best regards, BJ
White Russian
Being dropped from number 1 to number 3 is a demotion, not an “apparent”
demotion. The Portis is a clever man. He dialed it up enough to get his team
a win in week 2, but he obviously held back a bit to penalize you for your
week 1 choices. As you move him around, he will toy with you until you realize
that he is the cloned one. Or until you trade him away, at which point he
will make Larry Johnson look like Larry Richardson, and his teammates will
all be wearing gold covered diapers…
Diesel
Your offer is generous but the talented Portis and his teammates do not fit
into the long term plans of MDT.
FYI I chose not to draft the multi faceted Redskins because they have a racist
name and that isn't the spirit in which Mexican
Dynamite Truck was founded.
October 3, 2007
B.J.
Clinton Portis is in the #1 slot for all 3 weeks [week 5, 6, and 7]. He’s
proven he can deliver and deserves the opportunity to succeed. Let’s
just hope the Washington coaching staff gets the memo, and doesn’t leave
him on the sideline like they did a couple of weeks ago when they failed to
score a touchdown from just a couple of yards out.
Diesel
Sending out 3 weeks worth of picks at one time is unheard of. Portis is huge
in Ireland so you should be able to keep up on his progress by just hanging
out in the pubs.
White Russian
He is so popular there they just call him Red.
Diesel
They call his clone Andy.
White
Russian
At the futbol matches in Ireland, fans call out “Fresh fish!”
when members of the opposing teams take the field. They take bets on which
fish (opposing player) will be carried off the field on a stretcher first.
Diesel
Sounds like the Irish futbol fans have been reading usesoap.com on how to
behave at sporting events.